SOTK said:
Let's look at logic for a minute. Doesn't it make sense to all of you that one should repent before being forgiven? For example, can any of you forgive someone that sins against you on a daily basis? Let's say you have a co-worker that is just nasty and goes out of his way to sin against you on a daily basis. Are you guys saying that it's logical to forgive him on a daily basis. In other words, you forgive him for the same thing day after day. That just doesn't make sense and it's also dishonest. It's impossible to really and truly forgive someone when they continue to remain in their sin and are harming you.
In the above scenario, the loving and logical thing to do is to softly rebuke the person and give him the opportunity to repent. If he doesn't, you treat him as nicely as you can and give the matter to God.
Seriously, some of you are completely missing the boat on this. The way I'm laying it out is Biblical, logical, and loving.
Saul killed Christians repeatedly. One would think that God would just not forgive Saul, would just pull a Rimi and say, "you are not worth it," or kill him, as ordered in Leviticus - that he would simply strike him dead. But he didn't. He used him to become a leader within the church. Because God still cared, Saul was able to come to God.
Zaccheus was a tax collector, known for cheating people in their taxes for their own gain. He did so repeatedly. Jesus should have said, "I'm not going to forgive you." But instead, when Zaccheus was inspired by this man who showed everyone love, and climbed a tree to see him, Jesus called to him, and told him to come eat with him BEFORE Zaccheus repented of anything. It was Jesus reaching out to him that inspired Zaccheus to change.
Any sinner can say, "You have wronged me. I won't forgive you."
Any sinner can demand an apology before forgiveness begins.
And any sinner can say, "You say you are sorry, but you are a liar!!!" which I have seen from the saved as well.
As a Buddhist, I find it difficult to forgive those who have wronged me, but do so, because others have done so to me. I ask for others to forgive me first, and in realizing my own ability to harm, intentionally or none, find more compassion to forgive others.
But at the heart of not forgiving is pride.
Your pride allows anger to rule your life, living your life unhappily. Rimi, for example, has spoken of how people forgive to make themselves feel better, instead of following what God wants. Does God want us to live angry, resentful lives? Or does he want us to live happy lives, productful lives, reaching out to one another? Does God want us to be weighted down with the wrongs of others, or let go of the pain, and move on?
We don't need to condone, forget, or provide cheap grace in forgiveness. What we do need is to let go of the pain, the anger, the resentment, all of which holds us down. As a Christian, it may help you understand that God used Christ to "get even", not demand our deaths.
It comes down to a choice of which is more important to you - living a happy life where you can rejoice and be exceedingly glad, or living one of anger, misery, and resentment.