Well, if we aren't going to use an example, I don't see a point of discussing vinegar/honey. The liberals will define vinegar as being verbally abusive, which is not necessarily true, and the conservatives will act like honey is being overly passive, which is also not necessarily true. And then we argue about this concept, except we aren't arguing the same thing.
As I recall, I can't think of one reject of society (tax collector, prostitute, etc.) that Jesus was harsh with. Sure, he was harsh to Peter, for example, but Peter was a disciple. And he didn't say, Hey, Peter, you disgusting pile of filth, I can turn your life around." He was gentle in calling all of the disciples.
I think the problem of the "vinegar" comes when someone has decided it is their duty to change the heart of someone, and doesn't have enough faith in God to be the messager, and let him do the rest of the work. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, you know?
There have been uses of examples of saving people from a burning building. But, let's use a situation that is much more common. A person goes to a mosque, because they are Muslim. Are you going to physically block them from going in, and drag them to your church, ie, the way someone would drag someone out of a burning building? Would you mock them going in, and tell them that they are all going to hell?
This is the "vinegar" that I believe only pushes people away from God. And in applying it to an example, I can illustrate how "vinegar" is not what Jesus was using the majority of the time, and why it doesn't work.