I hope we can all agree to the moral of this story CiK:
Never think like an atheist.
toldailytopic: Shacking up. Is it wise for a couple to live together prior to marriag
- Thread starter Nathon Detroit
- Start date
I hope we can all agree to the moral of this story CiK:
Never think like an atheist.
Coffee is King
New member
I never thought like an atheist, I thought like a spoiled brat that was angry at his Dad for not getting his way. I intentionally thought like a spoiled child as if I could somehow make God angry and hurt Him. I always believed in God, but for all of the wrong reasons. I think that may be worse than being an atheist.
I couldn't agree more. Quite insightful. :thumb:
Many of us have thought like an atheist (even though we believed in God) by living our lives "relative" to what felt good.
toldailytopic: Shacking up. Is it wise for a couple to live together prior to marriage? |
No I don't think it is wise. We (Mrs Psalmist and me) were raised in the generation that didn't do the living together thing, so we didn't even give it thought. If we would have tried it, I think it would not have faired to well for either of us; as for marriage it must work, we've been married almost 50 years.
I will agree with you that it should not be the reason people get married. But, it can be one of many reasons to get married. I'm one of those rare people who don't believe in "falling in love." I believe that love is an action, not an emotion.
As to the topic on hand, I don't think a couple should live as husband and wife before marriage. I did that before I married my first husband. He was very good at hiding things. He left me and our daughter before we had been married a year and later went to prison for child molestation. I lived with Steve before we got married. But, we lived together as roommates only. I shared a room with my daughter and Steve had his own room until we got married. I still laugh when I think about how people in both my family and his family apologized to us a year after we got married because they thought we "had" to get married.
Son of Jack
New member
It's a bad idea. When people are truly committed and know entering the marriage that divorce really isn't an option for two believing people, then all that other stuff that we tend to think is "important" works itself out.
I believe that love is an action too, but it is not love if someone is only getting married because they want to live together.
Like I said, wanting to live together can be a reason for getting married, not the reason. :chuckle: Love is proven by keeping your vows to your spouse and to God.
Keeping vows and commitments, we know several couples, friends of ours, who have been living together for a number of years and are in it for the long haul, one couple has been together for 26 years.
My grandparents were in an "arranged" marriage (parents introduced them to each other as suitable mates and they chose to follow their advice) when Nana was 14. They got married when she was 16, in 1923, and were together until my grandfather passed away in 1969. They had 11 children (three girls and eight boys). Nana never remarried after my grandfather passed away. She passed away in the mid 1980s, when I was about 15 or 16.
MrRadish
New member
On the other hand, a lady who used to deliver the mail to my house when I was a child was also betrothed by arrangement by her family to a 'suitable mate'. She killed herself so she didn't have to face the prospect of either an undesired marriage or her family's disappointment.
Works for some, not for others.
My grandparents weren't betrothed by their parents, though. Their parents introduced them and they followed their parents' advice.
Buzzword
New member
My wife and I lived together for a little over two years prior to getting married, sharing a house with her mother, uncle, and cousins.
We initially moved in together because my rent was going up beyond my means.
Since we'd been dating for about a year and I was over at their house all the time, her mother suggested I just move in and help with the housework.
Then her mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, and her uncle and cousins jumped ship and moved to California.
I can only call it divine intervention that I (at the time seriously arrogant) didn't jump ship as well.
We found ourselves working for a common cause (taking care of her mother while both of us were in school and working), in traumatic circumstances that eventually turned tragic.
We were married three months after her mother's death.
We've now been married for a little over two years, with no problems.
God worked some miracles in both of us during that time, building up her self-esteem while tearing down my selfishness.
Plus, having come out of tragedy and betrayal, we were both much stronger and much more trusting in God and in each other.
We initially moved in together because my rent was going up beyond my means.
Since we'd been dating for about a year and I was over at their house all the time, her mother suggested I just move in and help with the housework.
Then her mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, and her uncle and cousins jumped ship and moved to California.
I can only call it divine intervention that I (at the time seriously arrogant) didn't jump ship as well.
We found ourselves working for a common cause (taking care of her mother while both of us were in school and working), in traumatic circumstances that eventually turned tragic.
We were married three months after her mother's death.
We've now been married for a little over two years, with no problems.
God worked some miracles in both of us during that time, building up her self-esteem while tearing down my selfishness.
Plus, having come out of tragedy and betrayal, we were both much stronger and much more trusting in God and in each other.
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BabyChristian
New member
No, other than the biblical reason, there's always problems about how to split things up without a fight and it's harder for judges to make decisions since there was no contract.
That isn't why you get married. Those that do end up in divorce. Those that shack up first as this giant idiot is suggesting is more likely to end up divorced.
I don't think it is wise to enter into any agreement or relationship without a binding commitment.
for believers, a blessing from the church wherein family and friends are witnesses to the vows pledged and from a legal perspective the license guarantees societal protection.
I wouldn't buy a house on a hand shake.:nono:
I wouldn't share my dwelling on a trial basis.:nono:
In marriage people grow together, they learn together, they make a family together.
Ted L Glines
New member
Here in my town, we have about 17% of our in-town residents are single mothers. Some had been married; some had been shacking up. In all cases daddy-o split the scene when chilluns came along. Married or not, these couples knew each other well before they became estranged. The state-licensed marriages made no difference. The church made no difference. It was expedient to part company, and they did. And these single mothers are not sitting around, pining away for the MIA fathers of their children. When I have queried them, they say they do not want the "jerk" to return. Ever. These ladies have moved on.
But the problem is: They are living in subsidized housing, eating on food cards and WIC, and they do not have a future with any promise. Their kids will grow up in the welfare lifestyle, learning how to manipulate the donor economy. So, their expedient decisions will have long-reaching effects on the life-quality of all concerned.
But the problem is: They are living in subsidized housing, eating on food cards and WIC, and they do not have a future with any promise. Their kids will grow up in the welfare lifestyle, learning how to manipulate the donor economy. So, their expedient decisions will have long-reaching effects on the life-quality of all concerned.
Sheila B
Member
good one!
One Eyed Jack
New member
My dad didn't believe in shacking up, and neither do I. It didn't work out so well for my mom. She alienated her kids for a boyfriend who's long gone.