annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
I prefer to think of it as a one-legged man and a one legged woman. :think:
Seriously, you make it sound so dire. I look at it this way - my husband and I are in a three-legged race - and we're winning!
toldailytopic: Shacking up. Is it wise for a couple to live together prior to marriag
- Thread starter Nathon Detroit
- Start date
I prefer to think of it as a one-legged man and a one legged woman. :think:
Seriously, you make it sound so dire. I look at it this way - my husband and I are in a three-legged race - and we're winning!
MrRadish
New member
:chuckle: Fair enough. In most cases...
Ah, but you'd get a sound drubbing if you raced against two two-legged people!
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Buzzword
New member
Agreed, and most happily married couples will tell you the commitment happened long before the ceremony.
However, as my pastor put it during our premarital counseling:
"Sometimes the love keeps the marriage together, sometimes the marriage keeps the love together."
Most of the time, the fact that you want them to be well and happy will keep the two of you together.
However, there will be times when the sheer fact that the two of you stood up and publicly declared your commitment before God and men will keep you from considering dissolving the commitment, and motivate you to work together and find a better solution.
That can have a huge impact on your perception of marriage, or even committed relationships, since the first deeper-than-friendship relationship we see as children is in our parents.
I take it you've never been married?
Feel free to correct that assumption.
Experience is the only counteraction to that preference for independence.
Having found myself delightfully dependent, I can't imagine ever wanting to be a complete person on my own ever again.
I have built my identity as an adult on the foundation of my marriage.
I have chosen to be first and foremost her husband, now and for the rest of my life.
Of course, and this is a part of the argument that hasn't been brought into play yet, some people SHOULDN'T enter into a marriage relationship BECAUSE they prefer living completely on their own terms from start to finish.
That mentality is demonized because too many people treat the Cleavers as the pinnacle of American adult life, but just as some people (perhaps including myself and my wife) shouldn't have children because they enjoy living their lives a certain way, some shouldn't get married because their personalities (at the moment at least) do not easily endure compromise.
So when you were "a Christian" you thought sex was dirty? That explains a lot, I guess.
I believe sex is a gift from God given to man to ensure the propagation of man.
I don't remember ever being called a bully :idunno:
:up:
That is, if they continue running in the same direction?:zoomin::surf:
Any non Catholics?
It really is!
No.
They can try to be like a married couple but their type of commitment doesn't demand it. It's a mock marriage that doesn't have great success partly because both parties are going in with the wrong mind set. They already don't plan on spending their lives together. The shack up couple doesn't think their partner is of enough value to marry. They aren't willing to lay down their lives for the other. Shack ups do not have a lasting commitment. It's ME first. As long as I am happy I will stay. Most people that marry first have made a commitment to each other before friends, family and God that they are in it for life. While most people that shack up are testing compatibility, most people that marry first, work to build compatibility. Once the shack ups get married, it's hard for them to loose the old mind set they had while living together. This is why most shack ups end in break ups and there is a higher divorce rate among those that shacked up prior to their marriage.