Best Friends Not Allowed

[Arthur Brain]

:freak: Obviously. A child who is taught good manners and consideration for others would have no desire to unnecessarily hurt the feelings of their fellow classmates by publicly excluding them from their party.

Yeah, not really sure where there was any confusion on this...

 

[kmoney]

I was joking. Good grief. :doh:

:doh:

 

[glassjester]

And you shouldn't be telling any child that they are mean, bad, offensive, rude, etc. for sharing HIS cake with HIS friends.
Good grief, that's what friends do.

Right - sharing is good. So... does that mean not sharing is bad?

So it's Johnny's birthday and he brings 10 cupcakes to school, and starts giving them out: "You get one; and you get one; and you don't; and you do, but you don't, and you get one, and you get one..."

What a nice little boy he's being, right?

 

[glassjester]

:freak: Obviously. A child who is taught good manners and consideration for others would have no desire to unnecessarily hurt the feelings of their fellow classmates by publicly excluding them from their party.

Yes - it's the public part that makes it a bit mean.

 

[Arthur Brain]

Right - sharing is good. So... does that mean not sharing is bad?

So it's Johnny's birthday and he brings 10 cupcakes to school, and starts giving them out: "You get one; and you get one; and you don't; and you do, but you don't, and you get one, and you get one..."

What a nice little boy he's being, right?

This was me on one of my birthdays...



:mmph:

 

[glassjester]

This was me on one of my birthdays...

I've always liked the bit with him trying to sneak the candy in church.

 

[Tambora]

Right - sharing is good.

Sometimes, not always.

So... does that mean not sharing is bad?

Sometimes, not always.

So it's Johnny's birthday and he brings 10 cupcakes to school, and starts giving them out: "You get one; and you get one; and you don't; and you do, but you don't, and you get one, and you get one..."

What a nice little boy he's being, right?

Of course it's nice.
If he only has 10 cupcakes, he can only share 10 cupcakes.
Why on earth would it be wrong of him to share his 10 cupcakes?????
And why on earth would anybody place a demand on anyone that if they don't have enough to share with everyone, then don't share at all?
Do you not see how preposterous that is?

 

[kmoney]

It related to acw's post, on hurt feelings, there are loads of examples where hurt feelings arent bad things and result in character building.

(Acw claimed hurting someones feelings is bad after i claimed that not doing so in many cases results in the snowflakes of today who cant handle being told no because of their precious feelings)

get it now?

Heres another example for you, should a young lady have to put up with unwanted persuit so she doesnt hurt someones feelings?

Relates to feelings being hurt as a reason not to invite kids to a party, same premise. (hurt feelings is the point)

And no Rusha, discipline isnt abuse.

acw's question was about parents purposely hurting the feelings of children. Discipline doesn't count. Discipline serves a greater purpose and while someone may have hurt feelings as a result it's not the direct purpose. Same with a woman who rejects the advances of a guy she isn't interested in. She's not rejecting him just to hurt his feelings.

A better response to acw's question would be that a parent sending party invitations to school isn't purposely trying to hurt the feelings of uninvited kids, which I doubt any parent would do. Then it becomes a question of whether the risk of kids feeling isolated is worth the possible inconvenience of not sending party invitations to school.

 

[Tambora]

Thou shalt not covet what your neighbor has.

If you have less than others, it does not make the others "mean".

 

[Tambora]

acw's question was about parents purposely hurting the feelings of children. Discipline doesn't count. Discipline serves a greater purpose and while someone may have hurt feelings as a result it's not the direct purpose. Same with a woman who rejects the advances of a guy she isn't interested in. She's not rejecting him just to hurt his feelings.

Exactly.
The woman does not have to 'share' herself with everyone, or not share at all.
That would be absurd.

A better response to acw's question would be that a parent sending party invitations to school isn't purposely trying to hurt the feelings of uninvited kids, which I doubt any parent would do.

Agreed.

Then it becomes a question of whether the risk of kids feeling isolated is worth the possible inconvenience of not sending party invitations to school.

Do you (everyone in general) actually know of a child in school that never gets an invite to a happy birthday party?
If so, there is probably a reason.
One bad apple can spoil a happy birthday party for everyone else.

I can tell you from life experience that not all children in a group are equal when it comes to likability.
A kid that lived in my neighborhood for about 4 years was a holy terror.
He was 9 years old.
Stole other kids toys in the neighborhood.
Was caught climbing out of a neighbors window with her purse.
Stole another kids iphone.
Was caught stuffing pebbles and dirt clods into gas tanks.
Not a kid you want at your party.


Just because a kid has to share a classroom (or any other place) with 30 other kids doesn't mean all those kids are good kids for your child to hang out with.
Being selective with the kids you let your own kids party with or hang out with is good parenting.
Not being selective is bad parenting.

So not only is the school telling children they are mean and hurtful for not being selective, but are also telling the parents not to be good selective parents.

Parents should control which children are allowed to their child's birthday party, not the school staff.

 

[glassjester]

Parents should control which children are allowed to their child's birthday party, not the school staff.

That's right. They should.

And they should do it on their own time. Not the school's time.

 

[Tambora]

That's right. They should.

Then REFUSE to let schools do it.

And they should do it on their own time. Not the school's time.

Nonsense.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving invitations for your birthday party at school or anywhere else.

 

[glassjester]

Then REFUSE to let schools do it.

Nonsense.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving invitations for your birthday party at school or anywhere else.

I just don't get why the kid needs to hand out the stuff at school.

Perhaps you can make a compelling case for the necessity of doing so.

 

[patrick jane]

I just don't get why the kid needs to hand out the stuff at school.

Perhaps you can make a compelling case for the necessity of doing so.

When does the kid see the other kids? At school. The only other option is getting an address or phone number from all the kids, which would have to be done at school. What's the difference?

 

[glassjester]

When does the kid see the other kids? At school. The only other option is getting an address or phone number from all the kids, which would have to be done at school. What's the difference?

Did you only see your friends (not merely classmates) during school? And come on, in the very scenario we're discussing, the kid is seeing these friends of his at his house (or some other non-school location) for an upcoming party.

Are you really arguing that there's some undue burden put on a child to see his own friends outside of school?

 

[patrick jane]

Did you only see your friends (not merely classmates) during school? And come on, in the very scenario we're discussing, the kid is seeing these friends of his at his house (or some other non-school location) for an upcoming party.

Are you really arguing that there's some undue burden put on a child to see his own friends outside of school?

You completely misunderstood, I'm saying the kid sees his whole class at school, that's why the invitations are handed out there. In order to not "hurt the feelings" of some kids by not inviting them you must somehow invite only the kids that your kid wants at his party without the uninvited kids knowing. That means your kid has to get the kids' he invites phone numbers or addresses or some contact info. Either way, the uninvited kids see the kid asking for only certain others' numbers. The poor babies are hurt.

 

[glassjester]

You completely misunderstood, I'm saying the kid sees his whole class at school, that's why the invitations are handed out there. In order to not "hurt the feelings" of some kids by not inviting them you must somehow invite only the kids that your kid wants at his party without the uninvited kids knowing. That means your kid has to get the kids' he invites phone numbers or addresses or some contact info. Either way, the uninvited kids see the kid asking for only certain others' numbers. The poor babies are hurt.

Alright.

But how many of his actual friends (again, not mere classmates, but friends) does the birthday boy's parents not know the phone number or address of? 1? Maybe 2?

If he's spent any time with his friends outside of school, shouldn't the parents already know where the friends live or at least what the parents' phone numbers are?

 

[Angel4Truth]

acw's question was about parents purposely hurting the feelings of children. Discipline doesn't count. Discipline serves a greater purpose and while someone may have hurt feelings as a result it's not the direct purpose. Same with a woman who rejects the advances of a guy she isn't interested in. She's not rejecting him just to hurt his feelings.

A better response to acw's question would be that a parent sending party invitations to school isn't purposely trying to hurt the feelings of uninvited kids, which I doubt any parent would do. Then it becomes a question of whether the risk of kids feeling isolated is worth the possible inconvenience of not sending party invitations to school.

Sure it counts, your not liking the example, doesnt mean it doesnt count. Its just another example of hurt feelings needing to be sucked up, since everyone isnt the same no matter how much liberals want them to be.

 

[Tambora]

Alright.

But how many of his actual friends (again, not mere classmates, but friends) does the birthday boy's parents not know the phone number or address of? 1? Maybe 2?

Doesn't matter.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with passing the invitations at school.

If he's spent any time with his friends outside of school, shouldn't the parents already know where the friends live or at least what the parents' phone numbers are?

They should.
But still doesn't matter because there is absolutely nothing wrong with passing the invitations at school.

There is nothing wrong with it, so stop treating it as if it is wrong.

 

[glorydaz]

Doesn't matter.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with passing the invitations at school.

They should.
But still doesn't matter because there is absolutely nothing wrong with passing the invitations at school.

There is nothing wrong with it, so stop treating it as if it is wrong.

It's amazing how many mountains can be made out of mole hills. :nono: