If I might do a bit of cross stiching here, on another thread Freak is getting a pasting for suggesting that the irrevocable words of Scripture about the death penalty might not be so irrevocable. Now we are to believe that the irrevocable words of Christ about those who deny him he will deny are not so irrevocable.
Hmmm.
DD, I see where you are coming from, and the wrangles you are having; I think most of us have been there, and as I glance up from my keyboard to the pictures of the wonderful family God has given me *pause...* I feel it rise up again.
For me, and I invite you to consider it, the principle is first and foremost: no denial. everything goes from there. Not: no denial but here's an escape clause.
None of us know what we will do in such a circumstance should it arise; Cranmer recanted; when released he preached again what he had recanted of, and when he was put in the flames, he stuck the hand with which he had written the recantation into the midst of the fire. God is merciful, he knows our frames, that we are but dust, that is why even suicide cannot be declared an unforgivable sin.
Peter was a coward, but he learnt, and he suffered for it the more readily.
It's is the principle that needs conceding, and then we give it up to God, not make our own moral concessions about when it does and doesn't apply.
peace in Him