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September of 1946, Teresa, then 36 years old, was sent to her annual
retreat and a needed rest, to the Loreto convent in Darjeeling, a town
nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas, some 400 miles north of Calcutta
(a.k.a. Kolkata). On the 10th, she experienced a "mystical encounter" with
Christ. That experience would be only the first of several that would occur
that year.
Lest someone makes the mistake of assuming that Teresa actually eye
witnessed an apparition, or that she actually heard sounds with her own
ears; let me explain something that's crucial to keeping Teresa's testimony
in the proper perspective.
Her experiences are what's known as locutions (supernatural words) viz:
manifestations of God's thoughts; which may come through words heard
externally (exterior or auricular locutions) or in the imagination (interior
imaginative locutions) or immediately without any words (interior intellectual
locutions) viz: intuition.
Teresa's locutions were of the interior imaginative variety; viz: she didn't
actually hear any voices nor did she see anybody; no, it all took place in her
imagination.
I'm not making this up. I own a copy of Teresa's personal letters, published
with commentary by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C. the director of the
Mother Teresa Center, and Postulator for her canonization. Father Brian is
not one of Ms. Bojaxhiu's enemies. No, they were friends for like twenty
years: he's a great admirer of hers and obtained his superior's approval
before publishing Teresa's letters.
One of them, containing excerpts of some of her "conversations" with Jesus
that took place in her imagination, is on page 47. What really caught my
attention in the letter is a promise Teresa claims the locutions made to her
that went like this : "Do not fear— I shall be with you always."
Was Jesus with her always? Not even! The poor woman went on from that
year forward to endure virtually five decades feeling abandoned by Christ;
and yearning for even the slightest glimmer of The Lord's presence. She
came to the point of actually referring to Christ as "the absent one".
Q: If the locutions were only in Teresa's imagination; then why did they go
silent? Couldn't she have kept them going?
A: Teresa wondered why the locutions stopped too. However, that's really a
question for either a professional psychologist or a neuroscientist. Our minds
seem at times to have a mind of their own.
As an example, no doubt there's been times when you heard someone call
your name; when actually nobody did. I don't know how to explain things
like that any more than I know how to explain the immoral, and oftentimes
violent thoughts and imaginations that flood our minds totally against our
will.
How does the human brain, a 3-pound lump of flabby organic tissue,
consisting of 60% fat, produce the phenomena of memory, consciousness,
and self awareness? How does it make us all behave so similarly at times,
and yet endow each of us with a unique and irreproducible existence? I can't
answer those questions any more than I can resolve Teresa's interior
imaginative locutions nor the mental activity of clairvoyance and horse
whispering.
Teresa died in 1997 at the age of 87; distraught with anxiety that God not
only maybe didn't like her, but also that He may never have actually
approved of any of her work in India.
Let that be a lesson. NEVER listen for a so-called "still small voice" in your
head; because it just might be nothing in the world but your 3-pound lump
of fatty organic tissue getting to you. Following the lead of your own
imagination is like hitching your buggy to a tumble weed. You'll never get to
town like that.
†. 1John 4:1 . . Beloved, believe not every wind, but test the spirits whether
they are of God
Don't be gullible. Fantasized voices are the most unreliable form of
communication with God that I can possibly imagine. People actually commit
murders because they hear a voice from God telling them to do so.
I'm not alleging that Teresa was schizophrenic-- she didn't claim to hear
audible voices. Her locutions were more like impressions than speech. I'm
only pointing out that Teresa's reality did not jive with her locutions; and she
was really disturbed by it too.
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