Top Ten Reasons Why Liberals Hate the Holidays

[BillyBob]

Shoot it anyways! :devil:

 

[CRASH]

Got a turkey yesterday. Didn't actually get to kill it, but I did win it by shooting a pistol, rifle, and shotgun, and throwing a knife and hawk, and I drove a 3/4 ton big-block 4-wheel drive truck to and from our annual "Meat Shoot" match. Came in 4th out of 14.

I guess I could still shoot the one I got yesterday, but that would be kinda weird.

:CRASH: :turkey:

Happy Thanksgiving!

:sinapisN: :Wamba: :bow: :BRAVO:

 

[Morphy]

Denver Bible Church Press Release
For Immediate Release:

10 - Thanksgiving is mass murder for turkeys.

9 - Too many SUVs traveling to grandma's house.

8 - College bowl games encourage competition.

7 - Millions of Christmas trees are cut down.

6 - The pilgrims thought up Thanksgiving, not the Indians.

5 - Christmas lights waste electricity.

4 - People are giving thanks to WHO?

3 - Winter lull in global-warming hype.

2 - Daycare centers are closed.

1 - Christmas celebrates a birth, not an abortion.

Liberals often pit themselves against good traditions. Bible teachings present the cure for liberalism. It is good to eat animals - good for people (who get great enjoyment and nutrition) and good for animals. Animal rights activists would annihilate against sixty million turkeys yearly, turkeys which would never even exist if they didn't end up on dinning room tables. (It is better to live and be eaten then never to have lived at all.)

Extremist environmentalists forget that trees are a renewable resource. For every tree cut down, thousands of seeds can reproduce an unlimited number of new trees, and America has more trees today than 200 years ago.

Leading liberals have prejudice against the social descendants of the Pilgrims. Liberalism tends toward racism against Europeans, sexism against males, and discrimination against Christianity.

Some people put down others to elevate themselves or their friends. Liberals often denounce Christian white males in order to elevate their special interests. Leading liberals blame religion, especially Christianity, for the world's problems, advocating instead atheistic, evolutionary socialism.

Liberals thus ignore the murder of tens of millions of people in the recent past by the atheistic, evolutionary socialist Soviet Union and Communist China. Liberals prefer kids growing up institutionalized in daycare and government schools than having them raised at home by loving parents.

And finally, in their long war against God, liberals suggest that the only good Christian is a bad Christian, that is, one who rejects the exclusive claims of Jesus Christ.

For more information, see:
DenverBibleChurch.org or contact:
Denver Bible Church Pastor Bob Enyart
PO Box 583_ Arvada_ CO_ 80001
303 463-1707

:chuckle:

 

[The Berean]

6 - The pilgrims thought up Thanksgiving, not the Indians

Why Knight? I thought you would oppose ILLEGAL immigrants. Who issued the passport to the Mayflower invaders?

Actually, the English government gave them permission. The Pilgrims were given a land patent and charter to establish a colony.

 

[fool]

but I did win it by shooting a pistol, rifle, and shotgun, and throwing a knife and hawk,

Did the hawk mind being thrown?

I guess I could still shoot the one I got yesterday, but that would be kinda weird.

After throwing the hawk shooting the turkey dosen't seem strange at all.

 

[Vaquero45]

Did the hawk mind being thrown?

After throwing the hawk shooting the turkey dosen't seem strange at all.

We tie 'em up good and put a hood on them, they probably hate it, but they can't do much about it.

 

[Adam]

This year we're having turkey for Thanksgiving.

Next year however, we're hopefully going to successfully prepare

TURDUCKEN
​

It's a turkey stuffed with a duck which is stuffed with a chicken. YUMMY!

 

[Shalom]

:chuckle:

 

[CRASH]

This year we're having turkey for Thanksgiving.

Next year however, we're hopefully going to successfully prepare

TURDUCKEN​

It's a turkey stuffed with a duck which is stuffed with a chicken. YUMMY!

Mmmmm.....3 animals in one meal!

 

[Shalom]

This year we're having turkey for Thanksgiving.

Next year however, we're hopefully going to successfully prepare

TURDUCKEN
​

It's a turkey stuffed with a duck which is stuffed with a chicken. YUMMY!

Now that sounds werid......

 

[Shalom]

Youve got to figure out how to incorperate beef in there somehow Adam.

 

[CRASH]

Cram some filets in the duck!

 

[Shalom]

Oh yeah and pork too...

 

[CRASH]

Put bacon around the fillets!

 

[Shalom]

:up: :chuckle:

 

[jeremiah]

I don't know. I think you just have to put the right emphasis on the holidays, and liberals could get in the "spirit" of things.

Thanksgiving is a celebration of the first illegal immigrants to this country.
They did the jobs that native Americans refused to do. Such as manually planting and picking crops from the ground, and new home construction.

Christmas is the celebration of a birth and not an abortion, however a liberal could celebrate the death of all the babies that Herod had slaughtered, in his attempt to end Christianity before it ever began.
They could celebrate how great the world would have been without Christianity if only Herod had been successful.
Or they could simply equate his approval of the taking of innocent life, for either convenience 's sake, or noble purposes , to their own.

 

[BillyBob]

11. Because Santa Claus is a successful wealthy independant white male entrepreneur who uses child labor [what the hell is an 'elf', anyway?] and mistreats a bunch of reindeer by forcing them to fly around the world once a year.

 

[Balder]

That's actually a church tract???

More like political :spam:

I like holidays, all of them. Though Bob is right about one thing ... I won't be eating turkey this Thursday.

 

[Adam_Kratt]

Why are Liberal causes denounced so hard. Many Liberal ideals have Biblical support.

1) Welfare, the Bible many times tells us to support the poor, needy, orphaned..etc..

2) Anti Death Penalty, Jesus him self said to turn the other cheek and you with out sin cast the first stone. and Judge not lest you be judged.

3) Social Security, there are examples in the Bible where food was stored in storehouses and given to the elderly (to the poor and homeless to.

4) Enviormentalism, protecting the earth, although not explicitly cited there I think can be inferred.

5) Privacy/Civil Rights, Jesus himself said not to judge others in their beliefs that judgement was his.. not yours.. so if people are pro-choice, pro same-sex marriage, if it is wrong isnt it Gods place to judge them and not yours?

 

[Adam_Kratt]

11. Because Santa Claus is a successful wealthy independant white male entrepreneur who uses child labor [what the hell is an 'elf', anyway?] and mistreats a bunch of reindeer by forcing them to fly around the world once a year.

I do not think that Liberals are against Christmas I just believe Liberals believe Christmas is a religious holiday and as such should be a sacred and holy celebration of the birth of Christ .

I am surprised that more Christians are not against the comercialization of Christmas. The toys, the majic (witchcraft) of Santa and his fairy dust. I think that it should be noted that the so called Santa Claus is in fact a real person. his real name was Bishop Nickolaus Klaus he was sainted by Pope. supposidly he is the one who first started giving gifts to children during th Christmas season.