It does seem remarkably difficult to find anyone who claims that they personally chose their own sexual orientation or that they could choose again if they wanted to. I might even think that such people just don't exist.:think:
Sexuality is fluid, though discussing it is made much more difficult by the constraints of the current language dealing with sexuality.
"Sexual orientation" is a phrase based on Essentialism that assumes that a person's sexual desires are fundamentally biological and cannot change. The "sexual orientation" of a person can be generally classified as a sexual preference for heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual sex.
"Sexual identity" has been added to explain differences between the sexual preference shown by a person's sexual behavior and that person's stated sexual preferences.
Another term, "sexual fluidity", has also been added to explain why some people change sexual orientation throughout their lives.
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Sexual fluidity
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health states, "For some people, sexual orientation is continuous and fixed throughout their lives. For others, sexual orientation may be fluid and change over time." The American Psychiatric Association's "LGBT-Sexual Orientation" entry says that "some people believe that sexual orientation is innate and fixed; however, sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime. Individuals maybe become aware at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual".
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People have been conditioned into discussing sexual orientation as being fixed and unchangeable, so most of the people you meet who have made the choice will not think in terms they have made a choice about their sexual orientation. Instead most people that are aware a choice has been made will say something like the following:
- "I thought I was heterosexual, but found out I am really bisexual."
- "I am not bisexual, I am pansexual."
- "Well, yes I just had sex with a woman, but it didn't 'cure' me. I am still a homosexual."
- "I am not a fag because I let a guy give me a blowjob. I like women, not guys."
If you have heard anyone say something like those statements, then you have met people that have changed their sexual preference (the so-called "sexual orientation"), even if it was only for a single encounter.