Honoring Old Love vs Medical Tyranny

[Granite]

She was literally kidnapped from his care when she could have just had care provided in-home with staff located at her place. Living in a nursing home should not prevent sex, anyway. It is not normal to block relations in their place of residence.

She had a private room but they wanted to deprive them of privacy, so they moved her where she was forced to share her marriage with a stranger living in the same room with her. That's like stealing her sex life and independence.

And you don't think her old single neighbor wasn't jealous of their love? Really???

Right, the possibility that she didn't like being stuck in a room while they had sex wouldn't have had anything whatsoever to do with it.

There's a time and a place for everything. "Dementia" and "nursing home" don't come to mind.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

...funny how you keep ignoring the facts in that article that make your own assumptions inconvenient.:yawn:

What facts are you now interested in, since you didn't bother to quote, o yawny one?

Dementia sex: It's the new black.

Do you think you should be denied sex if you meet arbitrary dementia criteria with a test administered by a non-specialist with no particular training in geriatrics? Poor you.

 

[Granite]

What facts are you now interested in, since you didn't bother to quote, o yawny one?

Among others? He admitted they had sex, and he threw her underwear in the trash. Sorry, I don't care what the circumstances are...that ain't a good look.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Right, the possibility that she didn't like being stuck in a room while they had sex wouldn't have had anything whatsoever to do with it.

She changed her story. And she never witnessed sex, just heard quiet, suspicious whispers behind a curtain.

There's a time and a place for everything. "Dementia" and "nursing home" don't come to mind.

Specialists and nursing homes disagree with you.

 

[Granite]

Saw, no. Heard, yes. It's obvious what happened. The husband said it did, for hopefully the last time.

What we're dealing with, fundamentally, is a sleazy situation (at best) that you, somehow, have attempted to turn into a thing of beauty. Which says a lot about your thinking, frankly.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Among others? He admitted they had sex, and he threw her underwear in the trash. Sorry, I don't care what the circumstances are...that ain't a good look.

His admissions of sex are taken out of context, and he was confused about what he was being asked.

He helped her dress for bed, so of course, like a tidy adult he puts her underwear where it would belong. :duh:

 

[Granite]

His admissions of sex are taken out of context, and he was confused about what he was being asked.

He helped her dress for bed, so of course, like a tidy adult he puts her underwear where it would belong. :duh:

If this guy is so gosh-darn "confused," as you keep saying, what makes you think he has the judgment necessary to make a decision involving having sex with his wife who happens to have dementia?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Saw, no. Heard, yes. It's obvious what happened. The husband said it did, for hopefully the last time.

She's dead. I failed to notice that putting up the OP. They charged him with rape after she passed.

What we're dealing with, fundamentally, is a sleazy situation (at best) that you, somehow, have attempted to turn into a thing of beauty. Which says a lot about your thinking, frankly.

Didn't you read the article? What you have is two old lovebirds being separated in a wholly immoral fashion.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

If this guy is so gosh-darn "confused," as you keep saying, what makes you think he has the judgment necessary to make a decision involving having sex with his wife who happens to have dementia?

Then you couldn't charge him with rape. Of course. They would just be two old people on equal loving footing. Meeting what is left of their minds and hearts.

 

[Rusha]

You've been hiding behind Granite rather than responding directly to me a lot lately.

Paranoid much? My first post in this thread was post number 2. IMMEDIATELY after you.

Want me to post the locations where you did that, like on this thread and at least one other? You are just filling thread space mostly with attaboys and then you just put up the dumbest original thought in your head - that an article was titled "sex and dementia" because the Alzheimers experts who wrote that article MUST have been sexist, sex obsessed individuals.

Certainly. I want you to put more time and research into your obsession.

Are things making more sense? Arguably it wasn't all your fault you didn't understand me the first time. But now you should know.

I see. Well, it is YOUR fault that you refuse to understand anyone who dares disagree with your emotional responses.

YOU are declaring medical tyranny because a man is not allowed to use a MEDICAL FACILITY as his own private love shack and disgusted with the woman who was in earshot of his rudeness.

It's bad enough that anyone (spouse included) would take advantage of a person with dementia. This is about HIS needs ... and HIS comfort. Comfort could have come in the form of holding her hand.

PS, I don't care if you post on my threads; I actually appreciate it. You never cease to amaze me and you certainly add to the entertainment factor.

Well, taking these types of illnesses seriously is something that comes with maturity. I won't apologize for not being amused over the husband's lack of priorities in regards to his ill wife.

 

[Traditio]

Among others? He admitted they had sex, and he threw her underwear in the trash.

Was he also a dementia patient? If so, you really can't take their word at face value.

When my grandfather came home from the hospital via ambulance, he told the EMT that he could sit up on his own. The EMT stupidly took him at his word (as opposed to asking him to do so, or else, consulting with his wife or family members...that made me so angry). In point of fact, there was no way that he could do so. The EMT could have asked him if he could run a marathon, and he probably would have given the same answer. :idunno:

 

[Granite]

Then you couldn't charge him with rape. Of course. They would just be two old people on equal loving footing. Meeting what is left of their minds and hearts.

Given her advanced dementia there isn't equal footing. That's. The. Point.

This thread's disgusting, to be blunt. Over and out. You're a deeply weird, completely bizarre piece of work.

 

[Rusha]

They would just be two old people on equal loving footing. Meeting what is left of their minds and hearts.

So they should be allowed and encouraged to "show their love" in any old place? Park bench? Middle of the mall? Front seat of greyhound bus?

Is there no other way to "honor old love" than to have sex in the view or earshot of strangers? How much honor or love is being shown to person whose dementia is so serious she is hospitalized?

 

[Rusha]

Was he also a dementia patient? If so, you really can't take their word at face value.

When my grandfather came home from the hospital via ambulance, he told the EMT that he could sit up on his own. The EMT stupidly took him at his word (as opposed to asking him to do so, or else, consulting with his wife or family members...that made me so angry). In point of fact, there was no way that he could do so. The EMT could have asked him if he could run a marathon, and he probably would have given the same answer. :idunno:

The article didn't seem to indicate that he suffered from dementia.

 

[Traditio]

The article didn't seem to indicate that he suffered from dementia.

Oh, alright.

Anyways, to the main point. Hearing a doctor tell you: "Your wife can't consent to have sex with you anymore" (or anything like that) is one thing. Actually being able to really understand it, see it for yourself and accept it is another thing. That's extremely difficult. Dementia is hard, especially for the spouse. Don't be so quick to judge him.

 

[Rusha]

Oh, alright.

Anyways, to the main point. Hearing a doctor tell you: "Your wife can't consent to have sex with you anymore" (or anything like that) is one thing. Actually being able to really understand it, see it for yourself and accept it is another thing. Dementia is hard, especially for the spouse. Don't be so quick to judge him.

I can understand his missing her and being lonely, however, she was ill and it's probable she did not have the capability of consenting.

The OP title is trying to spin this as a romantic, honorable event. Was his love and support only offered under the condition of sex?

 

[1PeaceMaker]

Paranoid much? My first post in this thread was post number 2. IMMEDIATELY after you.

I was thinking about #28.

Certainly.

Took me two seconds to find the post I remembered, sorry but I had to do no reading and remembered it was on page two.

I sorta remember where stuff is pretty easily. Want me to give other examples of your hiding behind Granite? It only takes me a second. But then again, I guess I do have better things to do with my time. I just was trying to help you understand.

I want you to put more time and research into your obsession.

Medical tyranny? Oh, I'm obsessed alright. We live in a culture that habitually dehumanizes family, marriage, the young and the old.

I'm tired of the medical objectification and abuse of our minds and lives.

But I'm sorry, I'm a busy lady so I won't have too much time. Can't seem to get my post count over an average of one a day. :idunno:

I see. Well, it is YOUR fault that you refuse to understand anyone who dares disagree with your emotional responses.

Now you are the one who is not making sense. :ha:

YOU are declaring medical tyranny because a man is not allowed to use a MEDICAL FACILITY as his own private love shack and disgusted with the woman who was in earshot of his rudeness.

He's not being accused of indecent exposure in public. This is solely about consent.

It's bad enough that anyone (spouse included) would take advantage of a person with dementia. This is about HIS needs ... and HIS comfort. Comfort could have come in the form of holding her hand.

Sorry you feel like that about sex. You must have a dull life.

Well, taking these types of illnesses seriously is something that comes with maturity. I won't apologize for not being amused over the husband's lack of priorities in regards to his ill wife.

Of course, because in your mind, people suffering from dementia are harmed by consensual sex.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

I can understand his missing her and being lonely, however, she was ill and it's probable she did not have the capability of consenting.

You only say this because of a GP asserting she had no more ability to consent without any specialty in her challenges.

The OP title is trying to spin this as a romantic, honorable event.

It was marriage, an honorable, love-filled marriage.

Was his love and support only offered under the condition of sex?

That would be crazy to assume.

Do you think based on their romantic history of marriage she would have picked up on that before falling ill? She was happily married for years with him.

 

[Rusha]

Medical tyranny? Oh, I'm obsessed alright. We live in a culture that habitually dehumanizes family, marriage, the young and the old.

That didn't happen in this case ...

I'm tired of the medical objectification and abuse of our minds and lives.

That didn't happen in this case ...

But I'm sorry, I'm a busy lady so I won't have too much time. Can't seem to get my post count over an average of one a day. :idunno:

Then you should atleast be able to get the quality over quantity part right. This is more pure emotion.

Now you are the one who is not making sense. :ha:

He's not being accused of indecent exposure in public. This is solely about consent.

Oddly enough, you seem to believe that someone who is HOSPITALIZED for dementia is an example of ability to consent.

Sorry you feel like that about sex. You must have a dull life.

:yawn: Is that really the best you can come up with? Because I do not believe that sex should be the number one, only priority in someone's life, I think sex is bad. My life is dull ... because I don't worship and get all googley-eyed over the prospect of sex?

Seriously, what you said was rude and over the line and evidently all you are capable of.

Of course, because in your mind, people suffering from dementia are harmed by consensual sex.

OR because in my mind I believe there is more to having a sexual relationship than body parts.

A person's state of mind matters. That is why there ARE consent laws. You know those pesky laws that also protect little teenage boys and girls from the type of creepy adults who prey on them and fragile, elderly dementia patients from those who put their own *needs* first.

 

[1PeaceMaker]

That didn't happen in this case ...

She was stepped on medically by the staff of the nursing home where she was kidnapped to by her daughter. So yes, it did happen.

Where is the Alz. specialist saying she couldn't consent? Lack of short term memory does not = lack of consent.

That didn't happen in this case ...

Sure it did. She was objectified by an arbitrary test given her by a doctor who was no specialist.

This is more pure emotion.

Whatever.. As though you haven't been full of pure emotion on this thread.

Oddly enough, you seem to believe that someone who is HOSPITALIZED for dementia is an example of ability to consent.

She wasn't "HOSPITALIZED" and she wasn't raped, either. She was kidnapped out of her home and marital bed into a home without her consent, though. When other options existed to serve her better without agitating her unduly.