Fast Personality Test
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annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Bump.
Me too. I've revisited this personality thing as an INFP because I seem to be "mirroring" a female INFJ at work...we're stuck playing "emotional ping-pong" with one another.
It's fascinating though frustrating. Here's an article that shares the differences.
Anyone have personal insight into the INFJ mind-set?
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
The word that caught my attention in your article is "inscrutable." I knew someone who may very well be INFJ and inscrutable is about the perfect word, and one I used myself once in conversation with them. They have this extraordinary self-awareness of their cognitive maps, but those maps are guarded well. I might be totally wrong on this, but where I as an INFP might feel my thought processes in a second-sense kind of way, I think INFJs can actually "see" their thought processes in action through some kind of mind's eye. I don't know how to explain this exactly, or how they relate to it in time - forward/backward/realtime - although it seemed to me as a hyperaware combination of knowledge, insight, and empathy. It's very alive but perhaps not always directable or predictable. Mercurial.
Perhaps, in connecting with your coworker, it would help to remember the author's theory that INFPs inspire and INFJs bring insight. Insight is a rare and wonderful thing. I don't know how your particular "emotional ping-pong" plays out, but I understand from experience both the fascination and the frustration. Keep at it, though. I can't think of a better kind of person where it would be worth all the effort you could bring to it to find that level where you can have a meeting of the minds.
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kiwimacahau
Well-known member
CAMPAIGNER (ENFP-T)
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Additionally... I'd been thinking of this while typing my post out earlier and forgot to include it:
I'm sure you know this already but don't forget that INFP/INFJ aren't binary. They're on a continuum, and someone you see as INFJ may have quite a few characteristics from both types and maybe just tip the scale a little bit to the INFJ side. I could say that about the person I know, it would be hard to know where the scale settled - but the insight part - I'm sure about seeing that. And you might have some INFJ in yourself that you don't realize you have - and what you think you see in her may also be a little reflection of yourself.
Additionally... I'd been thinking of this while typing my post out earlier and forgot to include it:
I'm sure you know this already but don't forget that INFP/INFJ aren't binary. They're on a continuum, and someone you see as INFJ may have quite a few characteristics from both types and maybe just tip the scale a little bit to the INFJ side. I could say that about the person I know, it would be hard to know where the scale settled - but the insight part - I'm sure about seeing that. And you might have some INFJ in yourself that you don't realize you have - and what you think you see in her may also be a little reflection of yourself.
I'm fascinated by the "mirroring" aspect of the INFP as I've realized that I've been doing that all my life.
I used to think to myself that if someone does or does not like the way I'm treating them then it's (generally) a reflection of the way they're treating me or others. I've recently come upon the term "mirroring" and it's completely apt to my ways of interaction.
Looking back I've noticed that I respond differently to people here on ToL, that is, I'll respond to doser differently then A4T and again different to TH...etc. It's mirroring in action. :think:
And yes, I've taken the Myers-Briggs test before and it's come up INTP and INFJ on occasion yet, INFP the majority of the time.
Thanks for your responses.
How about you, as an INFP, do you find yourself naturally 'mirroring' those around you?
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Hmm. Well, first of all there’s a difference between mirroring and meeting them where they are, which latter seems to me more of a reaction “to” than an empathic “with.”
I’m going on my walk, I’ll think about it and come back with a better answer. Hopefully.
I’m going on my walk, I’ll think about it and come back with a better answer. Hopefully.
2014: ENFP
Extrovert: 71%
Intuitive: 61%
Feeling: 29%
Prospecting: 67%
Assertive: 54%
2017: ENFP - A
Extrovert: 86%
Intuitive: 87%
Feeling: 58%
Prospecting: 82%
Assertive: 75%
So...more of everything then.lain: Life.
I wonder if extroverts are more prone to optimism. :think:
Extrovert: 71%
Intuitive: 61%
Feeling: 29%
Prospecting: 67%
Assertive: 54%
2017: ENFP - A
Extrovert: 86%
Intuitive: 87%
Feeling: 58%
Prospecting: 82%
Assertive: 75%
So...more of everything then.
lain: Life.I wonder if extroverts are more prone to optimism. :think:
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Prone is one of those words that the more you say it, the stranger it sounds.
Now that you mention it...does sound suspiciously shrimpy. :think:Prone is one of those words that the more you say it, the stranger it sounds.
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Not a lot of that around here, but everywhere else I go it gets ridiculous.Only if you have an accent.
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Ever since you were a baby.
Human nature, behavior, emotions, personality - it's all so incredibly complex. Anything I say here is just my opinion and subject to disagreement or correction. So much goes into our human interactions that runs deeply below our consciousness, and there's more than one kind of mirroring. Some of it can be overt, connected with social conformity, a desire to fit in, be accepted, find commonality, but I don't think that's what you're talking about in reference to yourself, so I'm going to offer a couple other ideas.
It seems to me there's a difference between TOL (online) interaction and real-life interaction.
With regard to the way you respond to people at TOL, could it be more your adaptation of your personality to the immediate situation informed by past experience? That is, you know how it's going to go based on past interactions, so you "gear up" so to speak, to respond in kind or at their level or at their emotional place. Could that be more an experiential response than an empathic mirroring? Just a thought.
With empathic mirroring, I see it almost like a dance. A waltz, and maybe the occasional tango (if it's an emotionally-charged relationship), where you're moving in unison, sometimes leading, sometimes responding. This can be done online, but not easily.... because how can you read the nuance of facial expression or tone of voice or body language? You can't, so then you guess, you assume... and you could be totally wrong even if you're normally an intuitive person so it can be very frustrating.
But take that dance to real life, and you're reading the face, tone, hesitations, a thousand different things, no matter how fleeting - and you're anticipating and responding: following to allow them space, growth, freedom to explore an idea - or leading because you sense they're looking for guidance, reassurance, a touchstone, an anchor. You're making micro-second adjustments continuously, in real time, and your empathic mirroring is at the subconscious level, you're not aware you're doing it at the time, it's instinctive, intuitive. This can be at the romantic level, friendship level, professional, parent-child - every interpersonal interaction.
And I think you need the right personality for that dance. Some people aren't able to pick up on those nuances, they just don't have the tools in their toolbox. They're great at a lot of things, but they don't notice the little imperceptible signs that tell them they're treading on thin ice, or they don't realize that the other person is waiting for them to say something that's not getting said. However, in your real-life scenario, you're talking about mirroring another introvert. That could be a very intricate dance indeed. :chuckle:
Blasphemy is rules violation, you know.
lain:I thought about doing that, but I prefer using words.
Around here it's a lot like break dancing. . . or when someone catches on fire.
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
Blasphemy is rules violation, you know.
I thought about doing that, but I prefer using words.
Around here it's a lot like break dancing. . . or when someone catches on fire.
And then some people require signs with flashing lights...
I've always been fond of a mosh pit.And then some people require signs with flashing lights...
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
I've always been fond of a mosh pit.
That reminds me, I retook the test in the OP, got the same results, but saved this question because I had a visceral, physical response to it:
You enjoy going to social events that involve dress-up or role-play activities.
That there is the stuff of nightmares...
:chuckle:
annabenedetti
like marbles on glass
One more thing: (one thought always leads to another...)
Someone can be just as perceptive in reading another person, yet use that ability in a malevolent way. I've known two people in real life and at least one online troll who have the ability to manipulate people because they can read them so well. But instead of the healthy empathy and receptiveness to the who the other is as a person in their own right that I was talking about earlier, the manipulator manipulates for his own amusement and to feel power over controlling the person being manipulated. Without getting into what's behind that need to make someone else on edge for their own entertainment, having been on the receiving end of it is miserable. You're always on the defensive, which of course the manipulator already knows that too. Just typing this and thinking of that person I know in real life is enough to make me uptight.
Someone can be just as perceptive in reading another person, yet use that ability in a malevolent way. I've known two people in real life and at least one online troll who have the ability to manipulate people because they can read them so well. But instead of the healthy empathy and receptiveness to the who the other is as a person in their own right that I was talking about earlier, the manipulator manipulates for his own amusement and to feel power over controlling the person being manipulated. Without getting into what's behind that need to make someone else on edge for their own entertainment, having been on the receiving end of it is miserable. You're always on the defensive, which of course the manipulator already knows that too. Just typing this and thinking of that person I know in real life is enough to make me uptight.
Arthur Brain
Well-known member
I've always been fond of a mosh pit.
:shocked: