I'm sorry you feel that way.
Why should it affect you what I believe? That's just a hollow sentiment! I have a right to be sorry for you because I am convinced your unbelief will result in your eternal death. In fact, I am prepared to play the role of a "fool" in your eyes and do anything I can to talk you off your fence. If I could, I would reach up and knock you off with a baseball bat!
But you have no cause, in the slightest, to be sorry for me.
Let me explain.
You believe that 'being' is validated only by knowledge. You have knowledge of yourself, therefore you are. You can have no knowledge of God, therefore there can be no validation of His 'being'.
The problem is that God is 'knowable'. John 5:25KJV His relationship to us is all about revelation which the agnostic categorically denies; because to do otherwise would result in the death of a primary presupposition which, it is supposed, creates a unique but imagined loophole. You are a non-confessing, closet atheist and you have rejected the idea of God as revealed in Jesus Christ as surely as any by turning your back on His words and denying Him.
As a believer in 'survival of the fittest', your worldview does not allow for sorrow outside of yourself. You are not allowed to borrow this or any other cloaks or virtues that belong to the God of the Bible unless you acknowledge that He is their creator and owner.
If you don't believe in Him, don't imitate Him.