If I were having a party, you'd be one of those I didn't invite. :chuckle:
Best Friends Not Allowed
- Thread starter patrick jane
- Start date
If I were having a party, you'd be one of those I didn't invite. :chuckle:
I suspect he was one of those kids that were NEVER invited to anyone's parties. For obvious reasons, of course.
The bottom line is, the school is not obligated to take part in that kind of bad manners. I suppose the right thing to do, given the fact that some parents see nothing wrong with this, is to just not have kids passing out invites in class.
Of course they could still do it privately in school, and no one would be the wiser. But then, it wouldn't be used to make someone feel bad for not getting an invitation. Which would make it less fun for some people.
And that's the real issue.
Of course they could still do it privately in school, and no one would be the wiser. But then, it wouldn't be used to make someone feel bad for not getting an invitation. Which would make it less fun for some people.
And that's the real issue.
gcthomas
New member
For anyone with recent experience of how young children, especially girls, act at school, you will realise what the "best friend" concept is. It ISN'T about having a particular close friend.
It IS about control and punishment and exclusion.
The way it can works is like this: a popular child takes a dislike to another child, a challenger to their own position perhaps, so to punish them they make friends with and flatter this child's friend. She declares they are not just best friends but "Best Friends", and that means that they are not allowed to play with or talk to their original friend. As time goes on the original child becomes isolated and victimised by the popular child's burgeoning 'in' group which is controlled by threats of de-friending and isolation.
This isn't a case of protecting little sunflowers, but restricting the influence of a domineering individual child. Yes, children do need to learn to manage their own groups, but at a young age the skill differences between children a year apart in age in a single class is quite great, and a balance sometimes needs to be provided by the adults. Overruling a child's demands for an'exclusive' friendship is really rather a small intervention.
It IS about control and punishment and exclusion.
The way it can works is like this: a popular child takes a dislike to another child, a challenger to their own position perhaps, so to punish them they make friends with and flatter this child's friend. She declares they are not just best friends but "Best Friends", and that means that they are not allowed to play with or talk to their original friend. As time goes on the original child becomes isolated and victimised by the popular child's burgeoning 'in' group which is controlled by threats of de-friending and isolation.
This isn't a case of protecting little sunflowers, but restricting the influence of a domineering individual child. Yes, children do need to learn to manage their own groups, but at a young age the skill differences between children a year apart in age in a single class is quite great, and a balance sometimes needs to be provided by the adults. Overruling a child's demands for an'exclusive' friendship is really rather a small intervention.
Eagles Wings
New member
I think it's about the most basic manners.
My kid would be told not to talk about it at school.
They can give their close friends a call after school.
Their little psyches prefer firm boundaries.
Telling little children there is something wrong with only inviting the ones they want at their party, and there is something wrong with talking about is not 'manners', it's insanity.
Eagles Wings
New member
Again, I think it best not to pass out invites at school.
Educators are obviously tired of the nuisance it causes, in what they believe to be the fragile minds of their students.
The temptation for kids to be malicious is acute as it is.
This is why my kid would be told be me, to talk about a party after school. For example, if questioned:
"My mom asked me to talk about the party after school."
"My mom said I could only have a certain number and she asked me not to talk about it at school."
"I'm glad you had fun at the party, my mom asked me to talk with you after school about it."
The child can be kind and firm.
/thread
Eagles Wings
New member
My mom, who is in her eighties, bore this kind of punishment as a young child. She is now close friends with the woman who was the cruelest little girl. My gramma was angry as all get out that her girl was suffering, and talked with the malicious girl's parents who were themselves high and mighty.
The moral of the story is that neither my gramma nor the school could keep my mom from being bullied. My mom suffered and came away from the experience with a forgiving heart and sureness of character, that I am blessed to learn from.
It only makes sense that kids will mimic their parent's good and bad behavior. The willingness to hurt the feelings of those *unwanted* children has been given the parental stamp of approval.
Not being expected to invite a bully or *icky* classmate to a birthday does not equate to "Here's your opportunity! Make sure you use the party invitation as your personal payback. Think of it as an early birthday gift!"
Eagles Wings
New member
Yes. At the time my mom's family did not have running water and used an outdoor biff, so they were considered poor. Yet oh so rich in love and good manners.
My father grew up extremely poor and was made fun for his lack of stylish clothes, including decent shoes that are necessary to protect one's feet in W. Virginia winters. Outside of protecting ourselves, we knew better than to bully and malign those who were weaker and poor. Included in that was showing respect to our elders.
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Eagles Wings
New member
Great lessons and character are born of hardship. I love being around elders. You are a smart cookie to have learned from them.
Jose Fly
New member
Again, pay better attention. My post was in response to Tambora's comment on the policy about passing out party invitations. Tambora tried to cast it as the school dictating who the kids have to have at their parties, when that isn't the case at all.
Jose Fly
New member
Then I suggest you not send your child to a private Christian school in the UK.
There are actually decent private schools in the US who would not condone such behavior. I attended two of them.
Nothing more I love than a good chuckle - and much on this thread has largely been cracking me up, big time :chuckle:
In that, not surprisingly, the Trump supporters (people who found concerning that bigot Trump that "hey, this Trump speaks to me") - not surprisingly, such have once more gone on and on and on, on this particular issue now, from their obviously deeply entrenched secular perspective.
I mean, never mind turning to the Scripture for it's thoughts on hypocritical exclusion.
Then again, most of them posting on this thread have continually proven willfully clueless on the following...
1 Corinthians 11:17 Now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not, that ye come together not for the better, but for the worse. 11:18 For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. 11:19 For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you. 11:20 When ye come together therefore into one place, this is not to eat the Lord's supper. 11:21 For in eating every one taketh before other his own supper: and one is hungry, and another is drunken. 11:22 What? have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and shame them that have not? What shall I say to you? shall I praise you in this? I praise you not. 11:23 For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: 11:24 And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me. 11:25 After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. 11:26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. 11:27 Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. 11:30 For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. 11:32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world. 11:33 Wherefore, my brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another. 11:34 And if any man hunger, let him eat at home; that ye come not together unto condemnation. And the rest will I set in order when I come.
The entire issue there, was an issue much like the one on here also being looked at from a secular perspective, in contrast to doing so through the Scripture...by people on here who often profess to know better.
But we're dealing with a group of hypocrites through and through.
Thus, never mind looking at this coming together in a birthday party issue, never mind looking at it, through the Scripture for a "moral compass."
Never mind the truth of...
Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Towards an enablement in...
12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
And as a result, a manifestation of...
12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
...and a manifestation of...
12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
...and of...
12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
...of...
12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
...and of...
12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
...of...
12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Simply by focusing on...
12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
The chuckle at what ever life, thing, event, or person, sends our way - the chuckling at it all, and the rebuke with longsuffering that is made possible simply by a focus on the wondrous fact of how that...
Romans 5:1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
...and what that now allows...
5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
...what that now enables - enemies at birthday parties, included...
This here...
5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Oh? In what sense? How so?
5:6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 5:7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
The Bible Believing Believer has an answer to the issue of this thread - an answer that the petty secular view of far too many on here, continually make a lie of.
How in the heck is the bully, or what have you, supposed to be shown the following via the ever hypocritical exclusion of the same old Trump supporting hypocrites the so called Right has so continually proven itself so in alignment with, even way before Trump was their current symbol?
2 Corinthians 5:13 For whether we be beside ourselves, it is to God: or whether we be sober, it is for your cause. 5:14 For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. 5:16 Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 5:21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
All one can do is chuckle about such "Christians."
Humour - tragedy reflected on, over time :chuckle:
Still, it ever remains needful to also view such themselves, through the lens of Romans 5:8.
Lest one end up as exclusionary as such...
Thus that writer's...
2 Corinthians 12:15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.
Now there was a guy who would have known how to teach his child how to turn one ruling or another into an opportunity to show one more possibly lost person the Lord, through his own manifestation of the truth to said individual.
2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; 4:2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
Come MADs - get with the program - put down your Jerry Springer hearts and get back in the Word on these issues :chuckle:
Rom. 5:8.
In that, not surprisingly, the Trump supporters (people who found concerning that bigot Trump that "hey, this Trump speaks to me") - not surprisingly, such have once more gone on and on and on, on this particular issue now, from their obviously deeply entrenched secular perspective.
I mean, never mind turning to the Scripture for it's thoughts on hypocritical exclusion.
Then again, most of them posting on this thread have continually proven willfully clueless on the following...
1 Corinthians 11:17 Now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not, that ye come together not for the better, but for the worse. 11:18 For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. 11:19 For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you. 11:20 When ye come together therefore into one place, this is not to eat the Lord's supper. 11:21 For in eating every one taketh before other his own supper: and one is hungry, and another is drunken. 11:22 What? have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and shame them that have not? What shall I say to you? shall I praise you in this? I praise you not. 11:23 For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: 11:24 And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me. 11:25 After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. 11:26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. 11:27 Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. 11:30 For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. 11:32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world. 11:33 Wherefore, my brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another. 11:34 And if any man hunger, let him eat at home; that ye come not together unto condemnation. And the rest will I set in order when I come.
The entire issue there, was an issue much like the one on here also being looked at from a secular perspective, in contrast to doing so through the Scripture...by people on here who often profess to know better.
But we're dealing with a group of hypocrites through and through.
Thus, never mind looking at this coming together in a birthday party issue, never mind looking at it, through the Scripture for a "moral compass."
Never mind the truth of...
Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Towards an enablement in...
12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
And as a result, a manifestation of...
12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
...and a manifestation of...
12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
...and of...
12:12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
...of...
12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
...and of...
12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
...of...
12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Simply by focusing on...
12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
The chuckle at what ever life, thing, event, or person, sends our way - the chuckling at it all, and the rebuke with longsuffering that is made possible simply by a focus on the wondrous fact of how that...
Romans 5:1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
...and what that now allows...
5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
...what that now enables - enemies at birthday parties, included...
This here...
5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Oh? In what sense? How so?
5:6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 5:7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
The Bible Believing Believer has an answer to the issue of this thread - an answer that the petty secular view of far too many on here, continually make a lie of.
How in the heck is the bully, or what have you, supposed to be shown the following via the ever hypocritical exclusion of the same old Trump supporting hypocrites the so called Right has so continually proven itself so in alignment with, even way before Trump was their current symbol?
2 Corinthians 5:13 For whether we be beside ourselves, it is to God: or whether we be sober, it is for your cause. 5:14 For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. 5:16 Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 5:21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
All one can do is chuckle about such "Christians."
Humour - tragedy reflected on, over time :chuckle:
Still, it ever remains needful to also view such themselves, through the lens of Romans 5:8.
Lest one end up as exclusionary as such...
Thus that writer's...
2 Corinthians 12:15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.
Now there was a guy who would have known how to teach his child how to turn one ruling or another into an opportunity to show one more possibly lost person the Lord, through his own manifestation of the truth to said individual.
2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; 4:2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
Come MADs - get with the program - put down your Jerry Springer hearts and get back in the Word on these issues :chuckle:
Rom. 5:8.
SaulToPaul 2
Well-known member
I always preferred Geraldo Rivera and Sally Jessy Raphael.
Yep.
If anything, Believer's are supposed to learn how to, and are also supposed to teach their chidren how to, turn any tribulation that might come their way, not only into an opportunity to glory in the Lord, but into an opportunity that perhaps might touch a lost person to consider...the Lord.
A lesson many an ex-con of the worst kind, has professed was learned from a potential victim...long after having left prison behind.
1 Thessalonians 2:2 But even after that we had suffered before, and were shamefully entreated, as ye know, at Philippi, we were bold in our God to speak unto you the gospel of God with much contention.
That had won them over.
The Apostle Paul himself - a bully of the worst sort - had been won over by "the love of Christ."
Acts 26:8 Why should it be thought a thing incredible with you, that God should raise the dead? 26:9 I verily thought with myself, that I ought to do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. 26:10 Which thing I also did in Jerusalem: and many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them. 26:11 And I punished them oft in every synagogue, and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly mad against them, I persecuted them even unto strange cities. 26:12 Whereupon as I went to Damascus with authority and commission from the chief priests, 26:13 At midday, O king, I saw in the way a light from heaven, above the brightness of the sun, shining round about me and them which journeyed with me. 26:14 And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice speaking unto me, and saying in the Hebrew tongue, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. 26:15 And I said, Who art thou, Lord? And he said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest. 26:16 But rise, and stand upon thy feet: for I have appeared unto thee for this purpose, to make thee a minister and a witness both of these things which thou hast seen, and of those things in the which I will appear unto thee; 26:17 Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, unto whom now I send thee, 26:18 To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.
1 Timothy 1:11 According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust. 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry; 1:13 Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. 1:14 And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. 1:16 Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting. 1:17 Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Because Romans 5:8.
glorydaz
Well-known member
CLEARLY a politically correct Christian School....CINOS