Unexpected confirmation for why we keep our daughters away from social media and TV

[Jonahdog]

4 kids, all now 35+ and gainfully doing interesting work, all with significant others who are the same.
My comments:
1. know who your kids friends are.
2. go to their swim meets, soccer, baseball games, even if you have to miss work once in a while.
3. homework comes first.
4. as a Dad, don't always ask your son to do "boy" things or the girls to do "girl" things. Mix em up. "Hey Johnny, go do these dishes, please" "Mary, hold this wrench will you, please"
5. Say please and thank you to your kids, that way they are more likely to be polite.
6. Oh yeah, know who their friends are.

If you have kids it is your job to help them grow up to be decent human beings. Remember, they did not ask to be born, you caused it, your job to deal with it.

 

[glassjester]

I've never had a Facebook account, and I haven't regretted that decision. Having said that, it concerns me to see young people so attached to social media. It's not Facebook for them so much anymore - once their moms and aunties got involved, it wasn't cool anymore. The young people I know use Messenger, Instagram and snapchat, and for kids younger than that there are platforms I'm sure I don't even know about.

There's a lot to be concerned about. Screen addiction is a huge problem. So is the lack of an awareness of any kind of a privacy boundary. Many kids don't really care who sees what they post, nor do they care who's tracking their clicks and compiling their digital identity. And they don't realize what that's going to mean when they go to look for a job and their prospective employer does a google search. I've seen an 18 month old open her mom's phone photo app and swipe through the photos. We don't know yet what this kind of cognitive and sensory overload is doing to young brains still laying down their neuronal pathways.

Yes, screen addiction is serious!
My wife and I recently started having "No-Screen Sundays."

And it's definitely a habit we will continue when we have children.


And you're right about the neurological effects, too. They aren't yet well known, but what we do know, isn't good. I've read that having so much information at our fingertips is detrimental to our ability to remember and recall information. Our brains don't bother to hold onto anything if we know we can just google it any time we want.

And while I'm sounding like an old man, I might as well point out that I'm anti-GPS, too! Bought a couple road maps at Barnes and Noble - they are much more reliable, and I actually get to use my brain to navigate - you know, like a human!

 

[annabenedetti]

Teach your children empathy.

Teach them how to reach out to those less fortunate than themselves, and don't limit it to mission trips where they pass out evangecubes and then go back home and tell everyone how many people they saved.

Don't use your children to build up your pride in your own parenting. Don't use them as little examples for everyone else to follow. If you do that you'll teach them either implicitly or explicitly that they're better than others. I've seen what happens when parents through their own behavior teach their children to look down their noses at other kids (and grownups) who don't measure up to their religious standards.

 

[annabenedetti]

Yes, screen addiction is serious!

My wife and I recently started having "No-Screen Sundays."

It really is, and serious for grownups, too. I've struggled with it myself, so good for you and your wife.

I'm trying to retrain myself to not whip out my phone every time I'm waiting in line or waiting for class or what have you. Next time you're out in a public place, look around you at how many people are looking down at their phones. (I'm guilty.) It can feel kind of scary all of a sudden, because we all look like a bunch of mindless automatons.

And it's definitely a habit we will continue when we have children.

This is the first generation to have grown up with smart phones. It makes me feel old to realize they don't know any other way of being.

And you're right about the neurological effects, too. They aren't yet well known, but what we do know, isn't good. I've read that having so much information at our fingertips is detrimental to our ability to remember and recall information. Our brains don't bother to hold onto anything if we know we can just google it any time we want.

And while I'm sounding like an old man, I might as well point out that I'm anti-GPS, too! Bought a couple road maps at Barnes and Noble - they are much more reliable, and I actually get to use my brain to navigate - you know, like a human!

Paper maps are good! You don't know when you'll lose cell coverage or your battery will die on your phone.

And like you've pointed out, it's good to make your brain work. Earlier this year I moved to a new part of the city and I had to reorient myself and learn a whole new layout of streets, how to get from point a to point b and be able to see it in my mind so I could take shortcuts and such. It's actually been a fun exercise, and it felt good knowing I was making new neuronal connections. :chuckle: Science used to think the brain loses its plasticity after the early twenties but they now know that's not the case, and your brain retains plasticity even into your later years. So keep challenging your brain to think a different way. If you're right-handed, learn how to do something with your left hand. Drive a different route to work without looking at a map. Everything you do like that which pulls your brain out of its tendency to follow the path of least resistance out of habit (like a river runs through the same carved-out river banks) is of benefit to you in the long run.

 

[glassjester]

It really is, and serious for grownups, too. I've struggled with it myself, so good for you and your wife.

I'm trying to retrain myself to not whip out my phone every time I'm waiting in line or waiting for class or what have you. Next time you're out in a public place, look around you at how many people are looking down at their phones. (I'm guilty.) It can feel kind of scary all of a sudden, because we all look like a bunch of mindless automatons.


This is the first generation to have grown up with smart phones. It makes me feel old to realize they don't know any other way of being.

I have a flip phone. No data plan.
I pay one internet bill for my house.
I cannot justify paying a second internet bill for my pocket!

Besides the cost, I won't get a smart phone for the simple fact of seeing how addicted other people are.
It's become almost impossible to hold even a short conversation with someone without their face being inevitably drawn back toward their dummy-box. And it's hardly considered rude anymore! Oh brave new world!

If I see anyone that addicted to anything... that's just something I won't try.
I won't buy a smartphone for the same reason I won't buy heroin - no matter how "awesome" all its users say it is.

Paper maps are good! You don't know when you'll lose cell coverage or your battery will die on your phone.

And like you've pointed out, it's good to make your brain work. Earlier this year I moved to a new part of the city and I had to reorient myself and learn a whole new layout of streets, how to get from point a to point b and be able to see it in my mind so I could take shortcuts and such. It's actually been a fun exercise, and it felt good knowing I was making new neuronal connections. :chuckle:

It is fun!
I've gotten "lost" on purpose, while driving, just to learn a new area and find my way back.

 

[kmoney]

A lot of good thoughts in this thread. It's funny to log in and see this thread because I was considering starting a thread about social media with a question: Do you think social media is mostly good or mostly bad for society?

Social media can be good for staying in touch, organizing activism, spreading news, maybe providing an outlet for people who live in an oppressive environment. But there are so many negatives as well. It would be very hard for me to say that it's mostly a good thing after seeing it work over these years.

What prompted me to consider a thread was a political discussion I heard on the radio. It was a talk about people who are registered as independents or with a third party and why they do it. One reason people gave was partisanship coming from the two major parties. One guest was saying that partisan voters can actually be good because partisan people tend to be more educated and involved which is what we want to have in a democracy. Eventually a caller brought up social media and how that affects political dialogue and the host asked if partisan people can truly be called educated if all they are getting is a one-sided view of everything. There would be partisanship and one-sided pictures no matter what but social media can exacerbate it.

 

[kmoney]

I'm trying to retrain myself to not whip out my phone every time I'm waiting in line or waiting for class or what have you. Next time you're out in a public place, look around you at how many people are looking down at their phones. (I'm guilty.) It can feel kind of scary all of a sudden, because we all look like a bunch of mindless automatons.

I've been trying to get better at that too. I just say to myself, IT CAN WAIT!!!

 

[annabenedetti]

A lot of good thoughts in this thread.

A lot of good thoughts in this post.

It's funny to log in and see this thread because I was considering starting a thread about social media with a question: Do you think social media is mostly good or mostly bad for society?

I'd say it's both. Even though I'm not on FB or Twitter, I've benefited from information that went viral on them after other outlets picked it up and then that's how I'd get it. I wouldn't not want it (social media) to be around, I just think we all have our different tolerance levels for exposure. And a responsibility to our kids until they're mature enough. And these platforms could be very useful in a crisis for transmitting information, as you've already mentioned. They're transgressive. And capable of making and changing history. I'd definitely reconsider joining if I thought there was an impelling sociopolitical need to do so.

Social media can be good for staying in touch, organizing activism, spreading news, maybe providing an outlet for people who live in an oppressive environment. But there are so many negatives as well. It would be very hard for me to say that it's mostly a good thing after seeing it work over these years.

I understand that ambivalence.

What prompted me to consider a thread was a political discussion I heard on the radio. It was a talk about people who are registered as independents or with a third party and why they do it. One reason people gave was partisanship coming from the two major parties. One guest was saying that partisan voters can actually be good because partisan people tend to be more educated and involved which is what we want to have in a democracy. Eventually a caller brought up social media and how that affects political dialogue and the host asked if partisan people can truly be called educated if all they are getting is a one-sided view of everything. There would be partisanship and one-sided pictures no matter what but social media can exacerbate it.

I remember a term for that: ideological silos.

I like that. :chuckle:

 

[shagster01]

I think that trying to keep up with the Joneses has been around longer than social media. I mean shoot, the fact that "Thou shall not covet" is in the old testament tells me it was even a problem back then.

 

[Crucible]

I think that trying to keep up with the Joneses has been around longer than social media. I mean shoot, the fact that "Thou shall not covet" is in the old testament tells me it was even a problem back then.

Human nature was never different. I vaguely remember reading about an engraving on an ancient wall dating back thousands of years ago calling someone gay.
:chuckle:

Yeah, we're still the same.

 

[Arthur Brain]

Teach your children empathy.

Teach them how to reach out to those less fortunate than themselves, and don't limit it to mission trips where they pass out evangecubes and then go back home and tell everyone how many people they saved.

Don't use your children to build up your pride in your own parenting. Don't use them as little examples for everyone else to follow. If you do that you'll teach them either implicitly or explicitly that they're better than others. I've seen what happens when parents through their own behavior teach their children to look down their noses at other kids (and grownups) who don't measure up to their religious standards.

A short thread this (relatively speaking) but with some good examples of proper loving parenting.

:thumb:

 

[Catholic Crusader]

Teach your children empathy.........

...the ones that manage to survive Hillary's abortion butcher knives?

 

[kiwimacahau]

...the ones that manage to survive Hillary's abortion butcher knives?

Still lying I see.

Sent from my SM-A500Y using Tapatalk

 

[Grosnick Marowbe]

Good. You raise yours your way, leave mine to me.

That's telling her, Musty.

 

[Grosnick Marowbe]

Fine, I'll address this to all the fathers out there who want to raise their kids in a bubble so they can control every last facet of their lives:

You'll come to regret it some day. There are ways to raise good kids without being a control freak.

Should all the world look to YOU for advice?

 

[Nihilo]

social media

http://money.cnn.com/2016/11/09/technology/filter-bubbles-facebook-election/index.html

 

[Crucible]

A short thread this (relatively speaking) but with some good examples of proper loving parenting.

:thumb:

Where do libs get off on telling other people what 'proper parenting' is :AMR:

The only thing the 'liberal way' has brought as far as parenting is shot up schools, a rise in juvenile convictions, drug use, and unplanned pregnancy, and a normalization of SS custody.

Then yall have the nerve to want to try and take away guns, raise taxes to support institutions for juveniles, and talk about how to essentially 'appease the beast' so a child doesn't screw up in their 'rights'.

 

[kiwimacahau]

Where do libs get off on telling other people what 'proper parenting' is :AMR:

The only thing the 'liberal way' has brought as far as parenting is shot up schools, a rise in juvenile convictions, drug use, and unplanned pregnancy, and a normalization of SS custody.

Then yall have the nerve to want to try and take away guns, raise taxes to support institutions for juveniles, and talk about how to essentially 'appease the beast' so a child doesn't screw up in their 'rights'.

All of which diatribe I'm sure you can support with well-reasoned, peer-reviewed literature?

 

[aCultureWarrior]

Linked from Drudge:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/69...a-culture-youth-teenager-mental-health-selfie

That a homosexual author is apparently making this point primarily for homosexuals is beside the point. Accurate description of a situation is accurate description, as far as it goes. Doesn't matter who makes it.

Actually it does. Is the author of the article's sinful behavior (homosexuality) more acceptable than the alleged sinful behavior of those who post on Facebook? If Danny Buckland really wants to discuss what is harmful to the youth of America, I can point out the child indoctrinating LGBTQ agenda to him.

And why is homosexual Matt Drudge considered by some to be a leader of the conservative movement?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Drudge

 

[Crucible]

All of which diatribe I'm sure you can support with well-reasoned, peer-reviewed literature?

There doesn't need to be any, it rose when your ideology arose- you took away what worked for centuries and caused nothing but problems with it. I grew up in group homes and being locked up, and all those people know what the problem is- it's a shame you all can't take accountbility, and is a sham in perpetuating it.