toldailytopic: Is getting a divorce immoral?
- Thread starter Nathon Detroit
- Start date
SDIO
eameece
New member
Jesus does, and in private.
Teaches wrongly, in some cases.
Yes. It would be nice if Christians focused on these teachings.
Because God lives, and guides. But clues and instructions from scripture(s) are fine and can help.
Buzzword
New member
Interesting dilemma.
On the one hand, my wife's family has almost singlehandedly kept the state of Oklahoma among the top states for number of marriages which end in divorces.
Her parents divorced after threatening to shoot each other.
Her mother remarried, and got divorced again after husband #2 had an affair.
Her uncle and aunt divorced after his third affair.
Her maternal grandparents divorced after he had an affair.
On the other hand, had my father not divorced his first wife, I would not exist.
As far as I know, their divorce was caused by "irreconcilable differences," and I've never sought nor been given the details.
As has been stated, any abuse, infidelity, abuse of any children involved, crimes committed by one spouse, etc. would be easily defendable reasons for divorce on moral grounds.
Of course, it varies couple to couple.
Some couples are able to admit that they jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim, and help each other learn to tread water and stay afloat.
Others bash through years of destructive marital conflict before shattering the marriage (by one of the above methods, or by simple, mutual abandonment).
While staying together for life is the ideal, and should be sought through a long period of moderate-to-deep intimacy, or for the older crowd a short period of deep intimacy (mainly because people who have been through the ringer tend to have a better idea of the type of person they want to be with) prior to getting locked into the saddle and sent off to the races, I think we've grown in our understanding of the human mind past the point of making sweeping blanket statements of the "immorality" of an action regardless of the circumstances.
The circumstances of the act matter nearly as much as the act itself, because the circumstances dictate the REASON for the action.
Thus, to answer the originating question:
Not in all circumstances.
On the one hand, my wife's family has almost singlehandedly kept the state of Oklahoma among the top states for number of marriages which end in divorces.
Her parents divorced after threatening to shoot each other.
Her mother remarried, and got divorced again after husband #2 had an affair.
Her uncle and aunt divorced after his third affair.
Her maternal grandparents divorced after he had an affair.
On the other hand, had my father not divorced his first wife, I would not exist.
As far as I know, their divorce was caused by "irreconcilable differences," and I've never sought nor been given the details.
As has been stated, any abuse, infidelity, abuse of any children involved, crimes committed by one spouse, etc. would be easily defendable reasons for divorce on moral grounds.
Of course, it varies couple to couple.
Some couples are able to admit that they jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim, and help each other learn to tread water and stay afloat.
Others bash through years of destructive marital conflict before shattering the marriage (by one of the above methods, or by simple, mutual abandonment).
While staying together for life is the ideal, and should be sought through a long period of moderate-to-deep intimacy, or for the older crowd a short period of deep intimacy (mainly because people who have been through the ringer tend to have a better idea of the type of person they want to be with) prior to getting locked into the saddle and sent off to the races, I think we've grown in our understanding of the human mind past the point of making sweeping blanket statements of the "immorality" of an action regardless of the circumstances.
The circumstances of the act matter nearly as much as the act itself, because the circumstances dictate the REASON for the action.
Thus, to answer the originating question:
Not in all circumstances.
It makes me sad for the people that buy into that ignorant advice, I know where to tell people to put it that say stuff like that to me but younger naive people may not have the strenght to stand up to such harrasment. The "no remarriage" preaching can lead to alot of hurt and wasted years of unhappyness when they could have just moved on with life. I am very happy that I did not let draconian beliefs cause me to waste time that I cant get back.
I understand that divorce and remarriage was not Gods original purpose as Jesus stated but life happens ...... and thats .... well life lol. Also that is the ONLY place in the bible on that topic and it was when Jesus was arguing with pharisies becuase they had mistresses they wanted to divorce their wives for or for other petty reasons. Jesus did not want to get in the mud with them going over every possible scenario to justify divorce and remarraige. A divorce and a remarriage is between you and God, God knows if its lagit or not, I dont need permission from the catholic peanut gallery.
Stupid reasons like becuase the church is pouring a heap of guilt on them for having pre marital sex .......
Can I remarry if my spouse divorces me and marries another?
I think John Piper is right when he said, "No" at click here
I was wondering if I should tell my divorced relatives that I agree with Piper.
Should I? Just bout everyone in my families are divorced and remarried except me and wondering if they will turn enemies if I said something like Piper.
Probably, it depends on why they got divorced in the first place, my entire family supported my first divorce and remarriage. If you barely finished high school and you are paroting some nonsense your preacher told you to your family then it wont end well. If one of the circumstances is truely immoral as determined by an educated reasonable person then you might have a case but if the divorce and remarriag is in the distant past what value would it have to confront them other than to alientate yourself.
How about a husband who divorces a wife who stops putting out ...... ooooohhhhhh .......... no death penalty, no jail time lol. So its ok to abuse the husband lol. Thats why some guys cheat and have no issues with it, they are stuck with a kid and a prude wife who will take him to the cleaners if he divorces her for her neglectful abuse and prudishness. THE issue is women dont have legal accountability in a marriage, yet if a man abuses his wife he will be crucified.
Can you hear that slurping sound as the churchs credibility circles the drain and why guys dont like church lol.
Can you hear that slurping sound as the churchs credibility circles the drain and why guys dont like church lol.
Most women, that I know, who "stop putting out" do so because their husbands have been cheating on them and have either admitted it or been caught.
But, if he's not cheating, his wife shouldn't refuse him outright. There are times when, if agreed to by both spouses, they should abstain from sex.
Let's put the shoe on the other foot. What if the husband is the one who is refusing to have sex with his wife? I've heard of that happening, too.
My own church doesn't butt into people's sex lives and I've never attended one that did.
When I said "stupid reasons," I meant that people get married because they fell in love (I don't believe that falling in love is anything more than a physical reaction to attraction.) or because they feel they cannot live without sex (It is possible to do so without any guilt being poured on them by the church.). Personally, I think that people who decide to get married should be required to undergo marital counselling before getting married. Even at my age (43), I think that I should be required to do it.
Not always but when it is not, the things that led to the divorce were immoral.
ThePresbyteers
New member
Maybe most of us are not supposed to exist. God's population control got out of hand.
ThePresbyteers
New member
I would think divorce and remarriage is like the Ten commandments. Man can't keep the 10 commandments so God's lets us know we're not perfect and have a need for Him. Even though we're not supposed to divorce for any reason, we do it anyway since we're all terrible in keeping God's commandments. But then again, there are parts in the Bible where Man can't enter the Kingdom based on such sins.
ThePresbyteers
New member
I think alienating yourself means you're proclaiming the Gospel to the lost by speaking the truths of the Bible. Where do we draw the line between alienating ourselves and proclaiming the truths of the Bible. Like Piper, he said it so his children will understand the meaning of marriage.
When a spouse dies there is noting immoral about getting remairred.
But when you divorce one spouse and marry another you are (most likely) guilty of adultery according to scripture.
Scripture talks about divorce and it is not considered a good thing. But scripture has even stronger words against get remarried.
HisServant
New member
Nope, that's just what the RCC and Anglican Church want you to believe.
Be a man.. a true scholar and go do some research on the Greek from which the KJV was mistranslated.
Accept the area of divorce and remarriage is a special situation, the whole point of confrontation is to remedy bad/sinful behavior (stealing, worshiping idols, etc) however if the divorce and remarriage has already taken place long in the past then whats done is done. I guess if the situation were truely grievous as to why they divorced then they should ask forgiveness but there is no bad behavior to remedy.
In the OT Duet God said it is an abomination to go back to your old wife once you have divorced and remarryed, so whats done is done, thoes that teach that you should divorce your remarried wife and go back to your first wife are teaching an abomination.