Singleness

Jacob

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Living a righteous and godly life while Jewish or Christian is the same even according to God by His Law and in the new covenant. For singles, as with those who are married, we are not to engage in sexual immorality. A single does not need to date or go on dates. If you are living not knowing if you are to be, or will be, married, then your interests ought to be those pertaining to serving God and our Lord Jesus Christ (Yeshua Messiah). You may learn of God from your parents or fellow believers in fellowship and under Biblical teaching. If you know you will not be married or you are intent on living single, even if you simply know God wants you to be single or wants you to be single for now, you should not accept it if you feel you are being pressured to any relationship, romantic or not, with a person of the opposite sex. You may change your mind or feel that in your serving God your mind is made up or God will direct you in your calling and service to Him. Some are called to lifelong singleness. In terms of those who are single we are talking about those who have never been married. But God wants us to serve Him whether single or married or if you have been married. His laws and commands are to be observed wherever you are at in your life, whatever your calling.

See 1 Corinthians 7.
 

This Charming Manc

Well-known member
Ok singleness is a struggle for many, guilt tripping people with you oughts and shoulds, Isn't going to be useful.

Dating is not a sin to call it so is legalistic.
 

Jacob

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Banned
Ok singleness is a struggle for many, guilt tripping people with you oughts and shoulds, Isn't going to be useful.

Dating is not a sin to call it so is legalistic.
There is a lot of freedom within limits, hopefully God's limits. No guilt tripping should be involved. True freedom is being free from sin, which can be whatever your walk of life... single or not.

It's not about a list of things to do or not to do. It is about how it is possible to live single for the Lord, without distractions and certainly without feeling pressured to get married. God may have called you to something different or to wait for his timing.

I am personally against dating. I think it should be reserved for when you are married (if at all), and not to find a spouse.
 

Jacob

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Banned
GET A WIFE AND BUILD LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF CHARACTER

AND LONGSUFFERING.
There is nothing wrong with finding a wife. There is nothing wrong with remaining single.

What is wrong is transgressing God's law. Lots of character and longsuffering may be found in marriage. But if a person is single and wants to remain undistracted then your words as a command should be water off a duck's back.
 

This Charming Manc

Well-known member
Sex is reserved for marriage,

Dating means a lot of different things to different people.

To me its about connection with people and emotional engagement, which if someone is not going to be open to possibility of marriage is probably key.

There is a massive difference between someone called to singleness and celibacy and someone who happens top be single at the moment.

There is a lot of freedom within limits, hopefully God's limits. No guilt tripping should be involved. True freedom is being free from sin, which can be whatever your walk of life... single or not.

It's not about a list of things to do or not to do. It is about how it is possible to live single for the Lord, without distractions and certainly without feeling pressured to get married. God may have called you to something different or to wait for his timing.

I am personally against dating. I think it should be reserved for when you are married (if at all), and not to find a spouse.
 

OCTOBER23

New member
duck's back ????

What are you a Monk ??

Don't you want someone to squeeze and hug and go places
with and make lots of babies ??????

What if JESUS comes soon and you feel that you have missed a lot of LIFE.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
Sex is reserved for marriage,

Dating means a lot of different things to different people.

To me its about connection with people and emotional engagement, which if someone is not going to be open to possibility of marriage is probably key.

There is a massive difference between someone called to singleness and celibacy and someone who happens top be single at the moment.
On singleness and celibacy, if there is no such thing as dating in your life... and no sexual immorality, then you are obeying God's commands for singleness whether you view this as celibacy or not. Being single has no room for sexual immorality. It does not imply celibacy, but it requires no sex outside of marriage. That means, sex is for marriage only and singles are not to have sex.

This may mean no dating until you are married. It is a safeguard to a healthy relationship with a future spouse if you are single and believe God wants you to be married. If you do not know whether you are single for life or not that does not mean you need to pursue what it means to be married, not being married. God can show through godly parents and healthy marriages among those in the church, what a model marriage looks like.

It is not good to be emotionally engaged at all, but certainly not as a single (young) man or (young) woman. If you are married then proper relationship between a man and wife ensue. If you are single, no emotional engagement or romantic interests should be there. Those who are married may not even experience these things. When you are single you should live your life for God. You are not distracted by a relationship with your spouse. You can serve God freely. So many things in this world bring or drag people down. This thread is not about getting married. It is about being single. Being single does not mean looking for a relationship.

God's command against sexual immorality includes emotional engagement in that I believe emotional engagement (if I understand what you are saying properly), is emotional adultery. That is, if it is allowed by God it would be in marriage not as single individuals. For those who are single there is no need to date. If you do not intend to marry dating should never be an option for you. If you intend to marry there are other ways that do not involve emotional engagement.

Do I understand you correctly?
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
As long as you are not alone.

Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
It is okay to be single and unmarried. A wife is only for those who are married. Either way, single or not, should be according to God's will. Some singles choose to get married. Marriage was designed by God. But a person who is married does need to care for their spouse, and is not un-distracted in their devotion and service to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:35 NASB - 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
duck's back ????

What are you a Monk ??

Don't you want someone to squeeze and hug and go places
with and make lots of babies ??????

What if JESUS comes soon and you feel that you have missed a lot of LIFE.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am not a monk. I am a single male (a young man or man at age 35). There is nothing wrong with celibacy, but we are talking here about how a single person obeys or serves God. It is by obeying His commands. There are many commands that do not pertain to sexual immorality as well. A godly righteous man should be living in such a way that sexual immorality is the least of his worries. And God can help him. And you ought not to but a barrier to his relationship with God in the way. That is, don't provide temptation to anyone, a single person or a person who is no longer single.

Water off a duck's back is a figure of speech. It is about how your words meant to drag anyone down who intends to live their life single should not affect them in their walk with God, whether they remain single or not.
 

This Charming Manc

Well-known member
I'm unsure how you expect single people to form relationships , fall in love and get married. A you expecting arranged marriages?

For a few singleness is a calling, for most it is a stage of life which is passed through towards marriage.

On singleness and celibacy, if there is no such thing as dating in your life... and no sexual immorality, then you are obeying God's commands for singleness whether you view this as celibacy or not. Being single has no room for sexual immorality. It does not imply celibacy, but it requires no sex outside of marriage. That means, sex is for marriage only and singles are not to have sex.

This may mean no dating until you are married. It is a safeguard to a healthy relationship with a future spouse if you are single and believe God wants you to be married. If you do not know whether you are single for life or not that does not mean you need to pursue what it means to be married, not being married. God can show through godly parents and healthy marriages among those in the church, what a model marriage looks like.

It is not good to be emotionally engaged at all, but certainly not as a single (young) man or (young) woman. If you are married then proper relationship between a man and wife ensue. If you are single, no emotional engagement or romantic interests should be there. Those who are married may not even experience these things. When you are single you should live your life for God. You are not distracted by a relationship with your spouse. You can serve God freely. So many things in this world bring or drag people down. This thread is not about getting married. It is about being single. Being single does not mean looking for a relationship.

God's command against sexual immorality includes emotional engagement in that I believe emotional engagement (if I understand what you are saying properly), is emotional adultery. That is, if it is allowed by God it would be in marriage not as single individuals. For those who are single there is no need to date. If you do not intend to marry dating should never be an option for you. If you intend to marry there are other ways that do not involve emotional engagement.

Do I understand you correctly?
 

Jacob

BANNED
Banned
I'm unsure how you expect single people to form relationships , fall in love and get married. A you expecting arranged marriages?

For a few singleness is a calling, for most it is a stage of life which is passed through towards marriage.
In terms of whether or not I approve of dating, courtship or arranged marriages are not out of the question.

The point though is that the life of a single person is not the same as the life of a married person.

No one who is married can say they were not once single. But there are those of us who can say we have never been married. God has a purpose and plan for us, even if we stay single our entire lives. This would not involve relationships, falling in love, and getting married. Relationships, falling love, and getting married has to do with things like dating which are not Biblical. Those who are married can fall in love if they want. But I don't think they would think of it is a fall. Maybe spouses growing in their relationship with each other. Falling in love is simply a weird idea. People grow in their love toward each other in life, but there are different kinds of love. Some kinds of love are immoral. Some love is only for when you are married. And some love it doesn't matter who it is directed toward it is of God because it is in obedience to His commands, and not in disobedience to His commands.

Dating is like kind of being married without really being married. So, no sexual immorality. That is, dating does not mean sexual immorality. But it may mean unwanted emotional engagement. And, if any of this is unwanted, including dating people you are not married to or not engaged to or that just simply you don't know if you are going to marry them because you are not married (only when a person is married do they know they are married) then it just makes sense that dating someone you are not married to creates a situation where you may marry someone different if you want to get married, and that would be like adultery just that you weren't officially married to the person you were dating that you did not marry.

If you are engaged you can save yourself for your marriage. Being engaged is not permission to break God's law. Even if you think you know who you will marry you are still not to break God's law by not waiting until you are married. This may mean that an engaged couple will refrain from even dating, whether they refrains before they were engaged or not, in order to assure that they do not transgress God's law. Talking, discussing, and otherwise loving a person you are married to is not a sin.

Once a husband and wife are married, their relationship with each other excludes certain other relationships in the world that hopefully they have not previously had. That is, marriage is for husband and wife. And some things in marriage are for husband and wife and no one else.

Hebrews 13:4 NASB - 4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
 

Jacob

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Banned
Me thinks Untel is over thinking the whole singles thing :rapture:
Maybe, but singleness or remaining single may be different than your singles thing.

Responding to questions is definitely different than posting to encourage others in the things of God, even fellow single men.

For those who are single, maybe they will find encouragement from God's word whether they know they are to be single for life or not.

Certainly remaining open to the possibility of marriage, or just knowing you are single and need to obey God where are you are, are also viable options.

No need to swear you will never get married if you don't know (that it is of God). It may be a way to survive. Or, it may be a way to thrive. For me, I know I am single and have never been married and I intend to keep God's commands.
 

Jeep

New member
I am not a monk. I am a single male (a young man or man at age 35). There is nothing wrong with celibacy, but we are talking here about how a single person obeys or serves God. It is by obeying His commands. There are many commands that do not pertain to sexual immorality as well. A godly righteous man should be living in such a way that sexual immorality is the least of his worries. And God can help him. And you ought not to but a barrier to his relationship with God in the way. That is, don't provide temptation to anyone, a single person or a person who is no longer single.


When you are single you should live your life for God. You are not distracted by a relationship with your spouse. You can serve God freely. So many things in this world bring or drag people down. This thread is not about getting married. It is about being single. Being single does not mean looking for a relationship.

God's command against sexual immorality includes emotional engagement in that I believe emotional engagement (if I understand what you are saying properly), is emotional adultery. That is, if it is allowed by God it would be in marriage not as single individuals. For those who are single there is no need to date. If you do not intend to marry dating should never be an option for you. If you intend to marry there are other ways that do not involve emotional engagement.

Do I understand you correctly?

"For those who are single there is no need to date. If you do not intend to marry dating should never be an option for you. If you intend to marry there are other ways that do not involve emotional engagement"

It is not up to me whether I intend to marry. As much I would like to get married, that may not be in God's plans. I would like to marry, God willing, I would like to know how i would get to know my future husband that, as you say, does not "involve emotional engagement"

For those who are single there is no need to date. If you do not intend to marry dating should never be an option for you.

It's not about my intention to marry. Although I would like to marry and share my life, I don't know if that what God has in store for me...so I just do my thing, pray and study. and we shall see.

"Being single does not mean looking for a relationship."

Being single means absolutely nothing. Are you being pressured into finding that special someone? I have never, from friends and family been pressured into getting into a relationship, I think this statement is self-imposed.

Are you trying to justify the fact that you do not date people?
 
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