Shame and Blame in America

Granite

New member
Hall of Fame
Originally posted by Poly

I don't even think you know exactly what you're saying.

Yes, I do. If you wanna waste your afternoon attacking me to make yourself feel better, knock yourself out.
 

On Fire

New member
Re: What color is the sky on that planet you're living on?

Re: What color is the sky on that planet you're living on?

Originally posted by Gerald

:darwinsm:

Relative to the human population, the percentage of idiots has remained pretty much constant.

The only difference is that we hear about them more often, now.
Is that a statistic that falls under the authority of the USPS?
 

Gerald

Resident Fiend
Re: Re: What color is the sky on that planet you're living on?

Re: Re: What color is the sky on that planet you're living on?

Originally posted by On Fire
Is that a statistic that falls under the authority of the USPS?
Yes it is. They know all and see all.

Consider: the USPS knows where you live. Don't you feel safe now...? :chuckle:
 

Morpheus

New member
Originally posted by cattyfan

some of what's in the article, though, are not thiings that should be debatable based on someone's beliefs. Like when a kid misbehaves in school and parents defend the kid instead of siding with the teacher. Or when someone commits a crime then seeks to find an excuse for their behavior. Those actions are clearly breaking rules and laws, and yes, I think people SHOULD regret doing those things.

The question is, why don't you?
You are right that there are basic truths that are not dependent on opinion. It is like whether or not a person believes Jesus is the savior. He either is or isn't, what an individual believes has no bearing on the truth. Having said that, the example about the kid and the teacher has also become more of a problem because of the unwillingness to take responsibility. We have reached a point in time where a parent has to do an independent investigation to determine what really happened. One example is, my wife, Mrs. Morpheus, works in a school. She has walked in on more than one conversation where a school administrator and a couple of teachers were planning how they were going to get one of the kids. Not because of anything specific the child did, but because they didn't like him. Another example was my own daughter who didn't do exactly what a teacher told her. She never denied that. The problem was the teacher, in an attempt to defuse a possibly bad response, called me at home prior to my daughter getting home. She told me that she lost her temper and went in the restroom and dragged my daughter out of a stall. I even let that go. When the vice principle and the teacher went to great lengths to get my daughter to change her story about how the teacher pulled her out of the stall, I had to intervene. The teacher continued to deny to the administrator what she had already admitted to me. My point in all of this is that we cannot just assume that an authority figure is right. Sometimes our own children are more responsible. To take the teachers side against your own child under such circumstances can damage forever your relationship with your child.

By the way, it was Cain that asked, "Am I my brothers keeper?" after having killed Abel. To some degree we are our brother's keeper. We are responsible for warning them of the standards. We are to try to pull them from sea of sin, not hold them under if they don't listen.
 

Eowyn

Proverbs 4:11-13
LIFETIME MEMBER
Originally posted by wickwoman

Eowyn:

I've been married for 18 years because I WANT to stay married, not because I'm afraid society will think ill of me if I divorce. Love is the motivation to be married, not fear of stigma. People are unhappy and as Granite said, they do often rush into big decisions. And, divorcing your mate seems to be life change of choice these days. But people will learn that the grass in the other pasture is NOT greener. You can't tell them, they have to taste for themself. The only way to help the ills of society is to teach people to pursue true peace of mind and happiness and it doesn't come from books or preachers, it comes from within.

Why do people think stigmas are bad? Is it bad that child molestors are stigmatized? I don't think so.
A murderer could be taking your advice to "pursue true peace of mind and happiness from within" when they murder people who bother them. I don't think that is very sound advice. True peace does come from within, but only if God is the one within you. It doesn't come from ourselves.
 

wickwoman

New member
We should all take responsibility for ourselves first and foremost. And, assist our brothers and sisters when we can, giving them our opinion on right and wrong if they ask for it. But, the idea that we have some responsiblity to warn others of "sin" is presumptuous. Sin is something a person does or doesn't decide for themself. And, we all know the difference between your standard right and wrong ideas - don't hurt others, don't steal, don't lie. But when we start telling people how to conduct their sex lives, for example, then we're meddling in the business of others.

The homosexuality issue did occur to me first Cattyfan. Because I'm tired of seeing it lumped in with murder and child molestation for dramatic effect. It's not the same. It is a private matter that an individual decides. And those who wish to tell us all who we can and can't sleep with need to get a life. There are more "important fish to fry." Let's talk about drugs, alcoholism, suicide. People are unhappy and its not because they don't read the Bible enough and its not because they need to go to church. It's because they are disconnected from themselves. They don't have time for peace and quiet. They don't know what they want out of life. And, they're tired of having people screaming at them to change or they'll go to hell.

See, I can be dramatic too. ;) None of that is directed at you Cattyfan. I'm just venting.
 

wickwoman

New member
Dear Eowyn:

Do you think child molesters will stop molesting children because we stigmatize them? Do you think they don't know its wrong when they do it? There is something wrong with a child molester. They think that molesting children will make them happy. They need to find out what true happiness is. Stigmas mean nothing to a child molester. What good does it do you or them?
 

Eowyn

Proverbs 4:11-13
LIFETIME MEMBER
Originally posted by wickwoman

Dear Eowyn:

Do you think child molesters will stop molesting children because we stigmatize them? Do you think they don't know its wrong when they do it? There is something wrong with a child molester. They think that molesting children will make them happy. They need to find out what true happiness is. Stigmas mean nothing to a child molester. What good does it do you or them?

So we should just remain silent about the issue? Just because it won't make them stop doesn't mean it has no value to put that stigma on them. Our society does not necessarily say that evil things are evil. It should be very clear what we accept and stigmas make it clear. Unfortunately we had de-stigmatized so many evils and it has muddled what we really consider wrong.
 

wickwoman

New member
Dear Eowyn:

What is the purpose of the stigma if it doesn't change behavior? Wouldn't your efforts be better placed to solving the problem rather than talking about how bad it is?
 

Eowyn

Proverbs 4:11-13
LIFETIME MEMBER
Originally posted by wickwoman

Dear Eowyn:

What is the purpose of the stigma if it doesn't change behavior? Wouldn't your efforts be better placed to solving the problem rather than talking about how bad it is?

It has to be acknowledged first that it is bad behavior. My only point was people always freak out about stigmatizing things and I don't think it should be that big of a deal. Some things are wrong. They should be called wrong.
 

the Sibbie

New member
Ya know, I was thinking that one of the reasons why divorce becomes less stigmatized is because as more people become divorced, they have to explain to their children why and most parents don't want to put their divorce in a horribly negative light for the child's sake, unless daddy was an abuser and they have a good reason to justify the divorce (some people may not even want to present that reason to their child). That automatically, without anyone even being aware of it, will downplay divorce.
 

PureX

Well-known member
Originally posted by Morpheus You are right that there are basic truths that are not dependent on opinion. It is like whether or not a person believes Jesus is the savior. He either is or isn't, what an individual believes has no bearing on the truth. Having said that, the example about the kid and the teacher has also become more of a problem because of the unwillingness to take responsibility. We have reached a point in time where a parent has to do an independent investigation to determine what really happened. One example is, my wife, Mrs. Morpheus, works in a school. She has walked in on more than one conversation where a school administrator and a couple of teachers were planning how they were going to get one of the kids. Not because of anything specific the child did, but because they didn't like him. Another example was my own daughter who didn't do exactly what a teacher told her. She never denied that. The problem was the teacher, in an attempt to defuse a possibly bad response, called me at home prior to my daughter getting home. She told me that she lost her temper and went in the restroom and dragged my daughter out of a stall. I even let that go. When the vice principle and the teacher went to great lengths to get my daughter to change her story about how the teacher pulled her out of the stall, I had to intervene. The teacher continued to deny to the administrator what she had already admitted to me. My point in all of this is that we cannot just assume that an authority figure is right. Sometimes our own children are more responsible. To take the teachers side against your own child under such circumstances can damage forever your relationship with your child.

By the way, it was Cain that asked, "Am I my brothers keeper?" after having killed Abel. To some degree we are our brother's keeper. We are responsible for warning them of the standards. We are to try to pull them from sea of sin, not hold them under if they don't listen.
It's the same lack of humility that causes us to presume that WE know what's right and what's wrong and that everyone else should learn from us what these are, that causes other people to presume they're right when they do things that we believe are not right at all. This is why Jesus told us to take the stick out of our own eyes, first. But we never do get that stick out of our eyes. In fact, the more certain we are that we have no stick in our own eyes, the bigger that stick becomes.
 

Granite

New member
Hall of Fame
Originally posted by Gerald

Atheism used to be stigmatized...

It still is, to a lesser extent.

Can you honestly imagine an open--not a militant; just an admitted--atheist running for president?

No matter who you are, you still need to bend over backwards and grovel before a Christian church of some kind to get a winner's stamp of approval.
 

Gerald

Resident Fiend
Originally posted by granite1010
It still is, to a lesser extent.
Indeed. You can't be legally killed anymore for being one...not in the civilized world, anyway...
Can you honestly imagine an open--not a militant; just an admitted--atheist running for president?

No matter who you are, you still need to bend over backwards and grovel before a Christian church of some kind to get a winner's stamp of approval.
Machiavelli understood this when he wrote The Prince, a book that anyone involved in politics needs to have read.
 

Lighthouse

The Dark Knight
Gold Subscriber
Hall of Fame
Originally posted by erinmarie

WAIT A DARN MINUTE! I know a Berta Eddy....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I'm surprised that no one else does!
I do! I'm still :chuckle: at Nineveh's statement.
 
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