no Christian spouse has the right to refuse marital relations - they lose your retarded "right to determine when they will or will not have sex" when they become one flesh
FYI - men have mechanical out. No one can force them to do anything. The mere attempt to overpower them would be met with flaccid refusal. So it's not true that they have no power to choose.
And since God gave men a natural way out, why would a man argue that women do not have one, too? Like his obligation to treat her like the apple of his eye? Matt 7:12 also would apply.
But in some twisted worlds - they can't divorce for adultery and the husband can bring home a communicable disease and force it on her. She can't say no to sex if she suspects adultery... even though the price she pays could be lifelong infertility.
And if she's menstruating, bleeding during pregnancy, or otherwise unwell down there she has to submit anyway? She has to explain herself, even if she doesn't want to, and submit based on his subjective, faulty opinion of her health? He wins because he's the head and he's stronger? Even if an unborn child ends up paying the price... real smart.
A man who won't take no for an answer is a man who wouldn't trust and believe a wife that she's unavailable because she's in pain, has a UTI, yeast infection, or threatened miscarriage or whatever.
Whereas a polite man wouldn't even have to hear about some stuff, just because his trust and manners keep his life simpler.
Unlike the true Shepherd, a rapist man like that posing as a husband is like the parable of the bad shepherds who kill and eat the sheep. That's not husbandry, that's a fraud.
