I agree that meeting one another half way is preferable ... UNLESS one of the partners is behaving in in an outrageous manner or the expectations are completely unbalanced.
Is marital rape scripturally defensible?
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I agree that meeting one another half way is preferable ... UNLESS one of the partners is behaving in in an outrageous manner or the expectations are completely unbalanced.
I agree. I wish only to note that "outrageous" should take into account gender differences. A woman's idea of outrageous and a man's idea of outrageous are very different. This must be taken into account.
Okay ... I will give you *one* real life example. I slept in the same room as my infant son with the door locked on one occasion because my husband went out drinking and brought home a homeless guy he met at the bar. Much to my dismay, he insisted it was fine to allow this person (who neither of us knew) to sleep in one of the guest rooms.
THAT is dangerous and foolish, and I will not risk my children's welfare because an idiot decided to drink ... instead of think.
I agree with all of that. That's utterly ridiculous. Ultimately, this is not what I (and, chances are, previous posters) had in mind. We're thinking of the married woman that just doesn't seem ever to be "in the mood" any more.
That said, I would like to point out:
Why was he at a bar? Could you have convinced him to drink at home instead?
Probably not, of course. I'm sure that you acted in entirely a reasonable way. Just food for thought for any other married women, though.
Edit:
Finally, a question does arise: if he was such an idiot, why did you marry him in the first place???
Because I never lived with him on a day to day basis to see this type of stupidity until AFTER marriage when I moved into his home.
He was an extrovert, who enjoyed partying whereas I am an introvert and enjoyed staying at home for a relaxing evening.
Also, I was a lot younger, more trusting and naive back then. You live and learn.
Extroverts. :nono:
Of course, this is something of a paradox. Introverts don't get the girls. you kind of have to be an extrovert to be bold enough to talk to women.
Women should know better! Man up and talk to the guy who's minding his own business and looks, for all intents and purposes, dead to the world!
He's more afraid of you than you are of him. Trust me on this one. :sozo2:
:chuckle: Actually, there is some truth to that. Prior to my marriage, my first serious relationship was when I was sixteen years old.
He was eighteen, serious, and wanted to be with me all the time, as well as marrying me as soon as I turned 18.
Unfortunately, I just wasn't ready and broke up with him. Had we met AFTER I graduated from high school, we would more than likely have stayed together.
elohiym
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I am an ethnic Jew. Many of my relatives were exterminated in the holocaust. An intelligent and compassionate person would realize the difference between supporting laws against forced sex and supporting the extermination of an ethnic group.
elohiym
Well-known member
Considering you live in Egypt, a country that oppresses women, that doesn't prosecute marital rape, were you expecting them to be relaxed and aroused by pigs? Why it was just in 1999 that your country ended the practice of the rapist marrying the victim to be exoneration; before that a woman could be forced to marry her rapist, which obviously would lead to more sexual abuse. Women are bound to be frigid around barbaric men.
You've never heard of male sexual dysfunction? Regardless, men certainly can be frigid, and I would argue are more so more often than women.
It's not an obligation. Let your wife know it's not an obligation. If you are sincere and show your wife the love and respect she deserves, you will have as much sex as you need and probably more.
elohiym
Well-known member
Preventing forced sex within marriages isn't doing destruction to the institution of marriage; it's putting scumbags in prison for rape they committed against the person they married and vowed to honor and cherish.
Paul was executed by the Roman government, and prior to that he was was being persecuted by the government of Israel. What government was he writing about in Romans 13:1-7? Does what he wrote apply to the U.S. government or any government of the world today?
An introvert is not someone afraid to be social. That's simply social anxiety, something that medication or a few beers can remedy. Being an 'introvert' is natural.
An introvert's brain has a high sensitivity to dopamine, which means that they don't need the constant stimuli of other people to be happy. This is why introverts tend to confide more in themselves.
A lot of philosophers, saints, and kings were introverts, including Augustine who had no problem with confidence or sexual relations.
An introvert's brain has a high sensitivity to dopamine, which means that they don't need the constant stimuli of other people to be happy. This is why introverts tend to confide more in themselves.
A lot of philosophers, saints, and kings were introverts, including Augustine who had no problem with confidence or sexual relations.
elohiym
Well-known member
Your statement only proves how little you understand women and marriage. :chuckle:
True dat. Beer is a great remedy to social anxiety. I know this first hand. Give me enough alcohol and I'll associate with practically anyone.
That said, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that introversion and social anxiety often go hand in hand.
E.g., I have both.
Fair nuff. That said, and I really do wish to emphasize this point:
Do not read my posts as saying: "Women, you OWE it to your husbands. If they rape you, it's your fault!"
That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that husbands and wives should relate to each other with a spirit of love, self-sacrifice and self-giving. They should be attentive to the needs and well being of the other and should be eager to do good for the other.
That's all. :idunno:
It is an obligation. It is assumed in the biblical teachings. What I see, is you cherry picking what fits in with the interests of women and watering down or completely ignoring the rights and defenses of men.
All of your posts are saturated with men being subservient to women based on their preferences and will, and not the obligation of women to do the same.
How is a woman 'raped' by their husband in any sense of a stranger seizing and raping somebody?
It's stupid. Women play the victim card all the way to their own nullification of a marriage contract- using sex as a way of control over the husband.
That's what it's really about. God forbid man takes control of something. I think the only 'scumbag' is the person who teaches that men should be apologetic for being men, and calling it misogyny to expect that wives do as God made and instructs them to do.
Again, I wish to note that if spouses had a mutual attitude of charitable love, self-sacrifice, respect, self-giving, etc., these problems simply wouldn't arise. Let us suppose that there is no obligation. Fine. Nonetheless, if spouses acted as though there were such an obligation, marriages would be much more successful and happier.
glorydaz
Well-known member
Yeah, and no one catches fish the size of those you catch, either, do they?
genuineoriginal
New member
Where?
genuineoriginal
New member
It is not possible for a husband to rape his spouse, and your response shows that you are more interested in "putting scumbags in prison" than in preserving society.
If you look at the history of the debate over whether there could be rape in a marriage, you will see that it has been debated for hundreds of years.
The conclusion of the debates prior to the feminists getting involved was that the preservation of the institution of marriage was a more compelling interest for the government than prosecuting a husband for having sex with his wife.
Lol
~Nowhere~
The Bible teaches on how to be a good wife or husband, but there is nothing stated in that secures penalty for being abusive outside the obvious fact that one's sins are dealt with by God. The Bible is otherwise very much like the Quran in this regard- very patriarchal. Women apart from the teachings are in a state of rebellion.
Even with adultery and divorce, it's only the men who can actually enact divorce. This is despite the fact that the majority of divorces today are enacted by the wives.
It sort of paints the picture on the utter incompatibility with feminized society and Christianity. One cannot call those like myself a misogynist without calling all the biblical authors and leaders the same.
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