Originally posted by beanieboy
You don't even seem to know what balance is.
I'm only going by your description.
Originally posted by beanieboy
I'm not saying that it is necessary to call someone a slut, and then a perfect lady, because you are contradicting yourself.
Yes, what you describe is contradictory. Thanks for being clear that you understood the idea.
Originally posted by beanieboy
Jesus didn't simply say, "Hey, Zacheus, you stupid shrimp! You are a theif and a liar!"
No. He said, "Zacheus - I would like you to join me to eat." This is equivalent to the whole school calling Lisa a slut, and then Lisa, feeling angry, resentful, unloved, and full of hatred, to come sit at your table - to show her kindness that no one else is. The kids would say, "You are eating with the whore???"
That's what Jesus did.
And what do you imagine that Jesus talked to him about? Did he mock him, and call him names? I'm guessing that he found out about Zacheus. He probably asked him about his family. He asked him what he liked to do for fun. And he probably asked him why he was a tax collector, and doing the things he did. I imagine that Zaccheus said that he was fearful of not providing for his family, or enjoyed wealth, or whatever, but soon discovered that, yes, God loved him, despite what everyone told him, about how he was disgusting, a cheat, and a theif.
A friend of mine once went to a retreat. People there were spirit filled christians, but the HS wasn't really moving. This guy started crying, and he said, "It's because of me! God won't come because of me!" He believed that he wasn't worthy of love. People said, Do you want to accept Jesus? He said yes, and asked God to fill him with his spirit, and immediately started speaking in tongues. He then became a strong spokesperson for God, drawing others to God.
No, your question is: is only showing tough love enough?
Answer from Clete:
Of course not, but I have to also tell you that you are disgusting and deserve to die. (not my question. I asking that if one can only show hatred toward another, only tough love, is that enough. I even gave an example - if one only spanks their child, and never encourages them, or is kind to them, or reads to them, is that love?)
The "Of course not" part of the answer that you have already received means that if one thinks sitting down with someone and eating with them will get a response in the same principle of response that Jesus got from Zacchaeus (Zacchaeus said: I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have overcharged people, I will give them back four times as much) then that is what one does.
Go ahead and accuse us of never even trying such a tack, or not trying to do it enough. And after you accuse us you can answer yourself because the answer is we do try that sometimes and it succeeds sometimes. Then you can accuse us of never doing it on TOL, and you can answer yourself again because the answer is that we are nice sometimes on TOL, and it works sometimes. But then you should realize the nature of a debate forum does not lend itself to that situation often.
Originally posted by Yorzhik
Yes, the kindest thing to do to Lisa is call her a slut unrelentingly. That would be a blessing to her.
Originally posted by beanieboy
That would help her how?
I have to tell you? Okay, I'll be nice. The short answer is that she will be ashamed to be a slut and stop being one. Long answer below.
Originally posted by beanieboy
If all of the unsaved are calling her slut, and you simply chime in, and refuse to have anything to do with her, how will that save her?
I have to tell you? Okay, I'll be nice. She will be ashamed to be a slut and stop being one.
Originally posted by beanieboy
If anything, it will show you to be a cruel as the unsaved.
Are you sure? Maybe the unsaved "demonstrate that God's law is written within them, for their own consciences either accuse them or tell them they are doing what is right." You cannot assume that because the unsaved do something that it must be wrong. If I do what is right and call Lisa a slut, and some pagan also calls her a slut because she is one, I cannot judge the pagan if they are not being hypocritical about using that pejorative.
I need to stop using the word "balance" because you confuse it. It is simply a "proper response". When a slut comes to the cafeteria, and ends up sitting with you because no-one else will because of her reputation, you have to weigh your possible responses. If you have the mind of Christ, you can have a "proper response". It has nothing to do with being nice or being mean, it has only to do with what would be best for her for relationship with God.
In these next replies, when I use the phrase "If you know…", I mean that what you know is actually true.
Do you take time to find out about her life?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her life to call her a slut.
Do you know what her family life was like?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her family to call her a slut.
Do you know why she is sexually active?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her reasons to call her a slut.
Do you know about any abuse that was in the family?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her home-life to call her a slut.
Do you know how she feels about herself?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her feelings to call her a slut.
Do you know if she battles with suicide?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her battles to call her a slut.
Do you know if her mother is an alcoholic?
If you know she's a slut, then you know enough about her mother to call her a slut.
What do you know about her? Probably nothing, because you simply call her a slut, and shut down communication before you even begin.
You don't call someone a slut if you don't know that person is a slut. So, "probably nothing" is wrong. And, beanie, you should acknowledge that you are wrong here. You should say, "yes Yorzhik, knowing she was really a slut is knowing something enough to call her a slut. And I was wrong to say 'nothing'."
And simply calling her a slut and shutting down communication is
THE WHOLE IDEA (assuming that when you call her a slut she'll stop talking with you). Cutting off communication is a very powerful motivator to get someone to think about what they are doing. Having her think about stopping destroying her life is a
good thing. Now, if you think that saying things to her in such a way that she is comfortable talking with her,
you certainly aren't talking with her about that which is destroying her life!
Originally posted by beanieboy
I would suggest the same to you. If you can't see what Romans 12 is saying, think that it means that mocking and calling people names is all that God calls for, then it is you that needs to learn about the milk of the bible. Tough love is returning blessing when you are cursed, not simply walking through the streets pointing fingers and throwing your nose in the air.
Of course Romans 12 is not talking about "mocking and calling people names is all that God calls for". You not only do not understand Romans 12, you don't even understand what we are plainly saying to you now. What we are saying to you now is:
Of course not, but I have to also tell you that you are disgusting and deserve to die. (not my question. I asking that if one can only show hatred toward another, only tough love, is that enough. I even gave an example - if one only spanks their child, and never encourages them, or is kind to them, or reads to them, is that love?)
Do you remember what the "Of course not" means?
But let's go even farther. How did Paul avoid violating Romans 12 in his encounter with Peter in Galatians 1? Or how about when he instructed us to cut off communications with someone is 1 Cor 5?