ECT Husbands

[musterion]

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25)

The husband is the head of the wife. But the head of the husband is Christ and Christ is the Head of the Body.

Christ loved the Body enough to die for it. This is the standard and the pattern for the husband. The standard is Christ. The pattern is self-sacrifice. The means is death.

The flesh does not want this love. The flesh cannot give this love. This love can come only from the Head and only by grace.

The husband must die to the flesh and live to Christ in order to love the wife as Christ loves the Body. The husband must be cherishing and nourishing her as his own body, respecting her as co-heir and co-member of Him.

There is no choice here. The husband must have this love. It’s what he’s called to in Christ. But Christ will provide it. Only Christ can provide it.

Preserve the marriage by looking at the wife only with grace: as who she is in Christ, not judging her according to the same weak, infirm flesh as you have.

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.

Obey Christ. Be for her who you are called to be in Him. This is God’s way for us to be husbands. There is no other way.

Get busy dying so you can finally get to living and, as one alive from the dead, love her as Christ loves you.

 

[patrick jane]

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25)

The husband is the head of the wife. But the head of the husband is Christ and Christ is the Head of the Body.

Christ loved the Body enough to die for it. This is the standard and the pattern for the husband. The standard is Christ. The pattern is self-sacrifice. The means is death.

The flesh does not want this love. The flesh cannot give this love. This love can come only from the Head and only by grace.

The husband must die to the flesh and live to Christ in order to love the wife as Christ loves the Body. The husband must be cherishing and nourishing her as his own body, respecting her as co-heir and co-member of Him.

There is no choice here. The husband must have this love. It’s what he’s called to in Christ. But Christ will provide it. Only Christ can provide it.

Preserve the marriage by looking at the wife only with grace: as who she is in Christ, not judging her according to the same weak, infirm flesh as you have.

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.

Obey Christ. Be for her who you are called to be in Him. This is God’s way for us to be husbands. There is no other way.

Get busy dying so you can finally get to living and, as one alive from the dead, love her as Christ loves you.

Great Post

 

[Interplanner]

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25)

The husband is the head of the wife. But the head of the husband is Christ and Christ is the Head of the Body.

Christ loved the Body enough to die for it. This is the standard and the pattern for the husband. The standard is Christ. The pattern is self-sacrifice. The means is death.

The flesh does not want this love. The flesh cannot give this love. This love can come only from the Head and only by grace.

The husband must die to the flesh and live to Christ in order to love the wife as Christ loves the Body. The husband must be cherishing and nourishing her as his own body, respecting her as co-heir and co-member of Him.

There is no choice here. The husband must have this love. It’s what he’s called to in Christ. But Christ will provide it. Only Christ can provide it.

Preserve the marriage by looking at the wife only with grace: as who she is in Christ, not judging her according to the same weak, infirm flesh as you have.

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.

Obey Christ. Be for her who you are called to be in Him. This is God’s way for us to be husbands. There is no other way.

Get busy dying so you can finally get to living and, as one alive from the dead, love her as Christ loves you.

Pity is not a good basis for a marital relationship.

 

[Tambora]

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25)

The husband is the head of the wife. But the head of the husband is Christ and Christ is the Head of the Body.

Christ loved the Body enough to die for it. This is the standard and the pattern for the husband. The standard is Christ. The pattern is self-sacrifice. The means is death.

The flesh does not want this love. The flesh cannot give this love. This love can come only from the Head and only by grace.

The husband must die to the flesh and live to Christ in order to love the wife as Christ loves the Body. The husband must be cherishing and nourishing her as his own body, respecting her as co-heir and co-member of Him.

There is no choice here. The husband must have this love. It’s what he’s called to in Christ. But Christ will provide it. Only Christ can provide it.

Preserve the marriage by looking at the wife only with grace: as who she is in Christ, not judging her according to the same weak, infirm flesh as you have.

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.

Obey Christ. Be for her who you are called to be in Him. This is God’s way for us to be husbands. There is no other way.

Get busy dying so you can finally get to living and, as one alive from the dead, love her as Christ loves you.

This is so similar to a sermon the preacher of our church gave.
A statement he made as commentary to Eph 5:25 was something that stuck with me as being a very good way to say it.

I will paraphrase what he said that stuck with me.

"A husband is to love his wife whether she deserves/merits your love or not.
For the church certainly was not deserving/meriting of Christ's love, being loved and saved while they were still sinners.
To love one's wife properly, one must love them as Christ loves the church."



Another thing he said during the same sermon that stuck with me .....
"One of the greatest gifts a father can give to his children is to love their mother."

 

[Tambora]

Pity is not a good basis for a marital relationship.

I think you confuse pity with love.

 

[Interplanner]

This is so similar to a sermon the preacher of our church gave.
A statement he made as commentary to Eph 5:25 was something that stuck with me as being a very good way to say it.

I will paraphrase what he said that stuck with me.

"A husband is to love his wife whether she deserves/merits your love or not.
For the church certainly was not deserving/meriting of Christ's love, being loved and saved while they were still sinners.
To love one's wife properly, one must love them as Christ loves the church."



Another thing he said during the same sermon that stuck with me .....
"One of the greatest gifts a father can give to his children is to love their mother."

Sorry but if you'll do some research you'll find that unconditional love like that is not good for marriages. It is very important that both people fell obligated to produce and to perform. I know it sounds right, and it's right there in the text, but I don't see it working. To 'honor the marriage bed' as Heb 12 says does mean that each person has to make their contribution. To fulfill the duty of I Cor 7, each person has to meet conditions.

There is a time for everything, I'm sure, but in these times, in most marriage problem cases that I come in contact with, the 'unconditional' card is played and is damaging the couple.

 

[Interplanner]

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.



I think this is pity. The man does need to provide and the woman does need to respect him and both need to try to be attractive. The man cannot shirk his income-producing and the woman can't just get fat and both expect to be loved at the same time.

Both people must deserve to be loved now. You may apply what you've said to something in the past, but that's just it; it's in the past. What are you like now, today?

 

[Interplanner]

We have to recognize that the pressures on marriage of our times are not the same on those of that time.

If you really want to follow the analogy of Christ as husband, each husband wouldn't dare enter marriage without a LIFETIME SAVINGS already accumulated that would support a wife. It would make no sense otherwise.

 

[Angel4Truth]

Pity is not a good basis for a marital relationship.

Real love isnt pity. Its seeking the best for someone else. Real love isnt selfish or thinking one is better - its esteeming others better.

Christ washed the feet of the disciples, He did not demand they wash His, get it?

 

[musterion]

This is so similar to a sermon the preacher of our church gave.
A statement he made as commentary to Eph 5:25 was something that stuck with me as being a very good way to say it.

I will paraphrase what he said that stuck with me.

"A husband is to love his wife whether she deserves/merits your love or not.
For the church certainly was not deserving/meriting of Christ's love, being loved and saved while they were still sinners.
To love one's wife properly, one must love them as Christ loves the church."

Does this not suggest that Christ holds husbands to a higher standard than wives?

Another thing he said during the same sermon that stuck with me .....
"One of the greatest gifts a father can give to his children is to love their mother."

Very much agree with that.

 

[musterion]

I would ask where this fool I'm ignoring is getting pity out of any of this, but a bad discussion on this thread would not go well.

 

[musterion]

Oh well this will be easy.

I know it sounds right, and it's right there in the text, but I don't see it working.

More proof he doesn't actually believe the Bible, as if that's news.

 

[musterion]

First, the positive: “Husbands, love your wives.” The word for love is the Greek word agapao, the highest form for love. Husbands who love their wives will always be ready to forgive them, to give themselves for them, to be steady and unchangeable in their love, to show mercy toward them. Love is to be continuous and enduring in all circumstances. It is to be eternal in quality. It forgives, cleanses, and sanctifies. It is the love of Christ for His Church (Eph. 5:26-27).

“Second, “…and do not be embittered against them” (3:19). The word embittered means sour, bitter, or harsh. It is a word which reflects a sinful inclination (cf. Acts 8:23). The conjunction “and” which connects the two injunctions is an exegetical conjunction, giving a meaningful example of what love entails. Paul instructs us “to put away” all bitterness (Eph. 4:31). Notice in the context this is put away by forgiveness (Eph. 4:32).

“Paul is arguing that bitterness is overcome by love and the power of the Holy Spirit, which is displayed by forgiveness, the practice of which is to begin with our relationship with our wives. There is no room for harshness in our relationship with our wife, others, and the church.”

James Gray
Berean Advocate

 

[Angel4Truth]

Grow the marriage by showing her the same grace that you have never deserved and do not deserve now.



I think this is pity. The man does need to provide and the woman does need to respect him and both need to try to be attractive. The man cannot shirk his income-producing and the woman can't just get fat and both expect to be loved at the same time.

Both people must deserve to be loved now. You may apply what you've said to something in the past, but that's just it; it's in the past. What are you like now, today?

You sound messed up to me with your priorities out of order. Love and looks have nothing to do with each other, no wonder you think real love is pity.

Real love is seeing someone else as better and worth being lifted up, to ask others to remember they arent perfect also, isnt pity at all.

Since you are wrapped up in looks, no wonder you see real love as pitying someone, God forbid something happen to your looks and a woman has to pity/love you...

 

[musterion]

I doubt he's married.

 

[Interplanner]

You sound messed up to me with your priorities out of order. Love and looks have nothing to do with each other, no wonder you think real love is pity.

Real love is seeing someone else as better and worth being lifted up, to ask others to remember they arent perfect also, isnt pity at all.

Since you are wrapped up in looks, no wonder you see real love as pitying someone, God forbid something happen to your looks and a woman has to pity/love you...

I'm not wrapped up in it, but it is totally natural for beauty to be cultivated and for the wife to be attractive that way. A man is attractive in other ways, and the term would be physical conditioning rather than looks.

The looks is also not nearly as important as respect and admiration, but when a wife has done work on their appearance to be admiring, you can imagine what happens.

I still don't see a way out of actually performing for your partner and not falling back on unconditional love. Save that for the smaller % of not getting to 100% of what you should perform, but don't make it the basis for a relationship.

 

[Interplanner]

I doubt he's married.

So what. I have been, and am Biblically divorced and I am asked about these things, and I have listened to Prager's Male-Female Hour for almost 10 years.

 

[musterion]

There is no biblical divorce today. Not for two believers anyway. But in your case...

 

[Tambora]

Does this not suggest that Christ holds husbands to a higher standard than wives?

I think so, although "higher" might be a tad dramatic.
I do think man has more responsibility.
Of course I'm not talking about salvation, as we are on equal footing in that regard.

 

[musterion]

I think so, although "higher" might be a tad dramatic.
I do think man has more responsibility.

Agreed but that's pretty much the same thing.

Of course I'm not talking about salvation, as we are on equal footing in that regard.

Yep.