...You are a nasty piece of work.
[Manners
each:] I take this very seriously.
:yawn: "Try to be civil in the face of incivility. This is a test."
Lev. 19:15-16, Rom. 1:29-30
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you [Eph. 4:31–32].
"These last two verses are in sharp contrast one with the other. There is an additional listing of that which grieves the Holy Spirit in verse 31—these are sins of the emotional nature. Instead, the emotional responses, which God wants us to have, are given in verse 32.
"Bitterness" is an irritable state of mind which produces harsh and hard opinions of others. Someone once came up to me and told me what he thought of another Christian. A third Christian who was present later said, "Don’t put too much stress on what he said, Dr. McGee, because he is bitter." A great many people are speaking out of bitterness, and when they do, it hurts. This grieves the Holy Spirit.
"Wrath, and anger" are outbursts of passion. Bishop Moule makes this distinction between them, "Wrath denotes rather the acute passion, and the other the chronic."
"Clamour" means the bold assertion of supposed rights and grievances. There are people in the church who feel that the pastor isn’t paying attention to them if he doesn’t shake their hand. Sometimes they even become bitter and clamorous over a supposed slight. Who can say that the pastor must run around and shake hands with everyone simply to keep people happy? It is this kind of attitude that grieves the Holy Spirit.
"Evil speaking" is blasphemy, but it also means all kinds of slander; and "malice," as we have noted before, is congealed hatred.
"Be put away from you." All these sins are to be put away or, literally, taken away. In the Greek it is an aorist imperative, requiring a one–time decisive act if the Holy Spirit is not to be grieved. We must make a decision to put these sins away.
Now comes a marked contrast. "Be (become) ye" denotes the radical change that should take place in the believer so that there will be no vacuum in his life.
"Kind one to another" means Christian courtesy. "Tenderhearted" is a more intense word than kind. It means to be full of deep and mellow affection. Some believers are like that—they are wonderful friends. When they see you, they put their arms around you. I went to college and then to seminary with a fellow and then helped him in meetings for years. He is retired now. When we saw each other in Florida some time back, we just flung our arms around each other. We were tenderhearted toward one another—we love each other in the Lord.
"Forgiving one another" is a reflexive form of phrase. It is literally, "forgiving one another yourselves." It means to give and take in a relation to the faults of one another. We are to forgive rather than magnify the faults of others.
"Even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you." All of this is to be done on a twofold basis. First, this conduct will not grieve the Holy Spirit. Second, the basis of forgiveness is not legal, but gracious. This is not a command under law but is on the basis of the grace of God exhibited in our forgiveness because Christ died for us. We are to forgive because we have been forgiven. It is not that we forgive in order to get forgiveness. Note the contrast: Christ was stating the legal grounds for forgiveness in the Sermon on the Mount when He said, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt. 6:14–15). Here in Ephesians we are told to forgive on the basis of the grace of God which He exhibited in our forgiveness for Christ’s sake, because Christ died for us. This is quite wonderful!" McGee, J. V. (1991). Vol. 47: Thru the Bible commentary: The Epistles (Ephesians) (electronic ed.) (133–134). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.