That sounds like a timely and paradigm-changing read, Sela, and you've described it so beautifully. Yes, I understand what you mean, and it was a priest many years ago who first described for me what Kierkegaard calls a betrayal of love, who said that we must show love to the person who reaches out his hand, and give without judging how the gift will be spent. That it was our call to give, and not to control the outcome of the gift. I never forgot his lesson, it's stayed with me all these years.