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What is the downside to youth groups?
- Thread starter Jefferson
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I think many Christians have begun to see that the negative effects of dating far outweigh any supposed benefit.
One of the best books on the subject is Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."
Its interesting that kids dating is just a natural, healthy occurance even though its a relatively new and somewhat unquestioned phenomenon.
One of the best books on the subject is Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."
Its interesting that kids dating is just a natural, healthy occurance even though its a relatively new and somewhat unquestioned phenomenon.
Because it is a bad idea to get into a serious relationship if you still need your mom to tell you to clean your room. Teens aren't mature enough to handle that kind of relationship and they may go through dozens of them. Dating and breaking up is painful at first but it gets easier everytime. Eventually it becomes the standard response to a problem in a relationship. Instead of trying to fix it, just walk away from it.
Paraphrasing the Josh Harris book: ( I don't have it here to get the exact words...forgive me)
"There is nothing wrong with a guy and a girl going out for coffee or bowling, but if that's all dating was, we wouldn't be writing books about it, would we?"
I don't see a problem with a guy and a girl going and doing something socially...i think a group is a better idea...less tempation (depending on the group, of course), but its the whole culture of "going out" that causes a lot of problems. We water down commitment with these uncommitted "relationships."
As with the youth group issue that started this thread, just because something is the way we've done it for a while (not always in either case), doesn't mean it must be ok.
"There is nothing wrong with a guy and a girl going out for coffee or bowling, but if that's all dating was, we wouldn't be writing books about it, would we?"
I don't see a problem with a guy and a girl going and doing something socially...i think a group is a better idea...less tempation (depending on the group, of course), but its the whole culture of "going out" that causes a lot of problems. We water down commitment with these uncommitted "relationships."
As with the youth group issue that started this thread, just because something is the way we've done it for a while (not always in either case), doesn't mean it must be ok.
Isn't it interesting that the only people who think dating is bad are the ones who can't get one?
Do you think it's a good idea for people who are not of marrying age to get involved in romantic relationships? Note: I'm not saying anything about group dating. I'm talking about 2 16 year olds being alone together, unsupervised by an adult. Do you actually think that's a good idea?
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Lagardo-
:chuckle:
Jefferson-
Learn how to recognize a joke. Granite got it. I do not think that two 16 year olds [boy and girl] being alone together is a good idea. And I think Josua Harris' book was great! Courtship is the way to go. And I think being friends is the best way to go. Although, being in a specific relationship, without "dating" is not something I have anything against. Maybe that's because I never had a girlfriend, after ninth grade.
:chuckle:
Jefferson-
Learn how to recognize a joke. Granite got it. I do not think that two 16 year olds [boy and girl] being alone together is a good idea. And I think Josua Harris' book was great! Courtship is the way to go. And I think being friends is the best way to go. Although, being in a specific relationship, without "dating" is not something I have anything against. Maybe that's because I never had a girlfriend, after ninth grade.
I think the distinction needs to be made here between a date and "dating." I say "dating" because I do think there is a problem with children and teens of having created a culture of dating that encourages kids to make a supposed commitment only to break it if one feels unhappy.
I would not object to teenagers going on dates, but I do object to this culture of dating. I think the lines have been blurred between the marriage commitment and "going out" to a point where marriage hardly means anything at all.
I guess it comes down to this: by repeatedly "going out" and "breaking up" are kids being more prepared for marriage or divorce?
I would not object to teenagers going on dates, but I do object to this culture of dating. I think the lines have been blurred between the marriage commitment and "going out" to a point where marriage hardly means anything at all.
I guess it comes down to this: by repeatedly "going out" and "breaking up" are kids being more prepared for marriage or divorce?
Not to mention sex, and what's happened to that. It's being turned into just some activity that people do, and has lost it's intimacy in the majority of today's culture. And people are "dating" and having sex with someone, then breaking up with them and moving on to "dating" someone else and having sex with them. It's sad, and disgusting.
firechyld
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I concur.
I'm also bothered by the assumption that if teens are dating, then they are either already having sex or are about to.
"Dating" is not necessarily synonomous with "having sex".
As for the youth group thing, has anyone seen the episode of King Of the Hill where Bobby Hill joins a "cool" youth group?
This exchange occurs at the end of the episode:
BOBBY: When I turn 18, I'm going to do whatever I want for the Lord. Tattoos, piercings, you name it.
HANK: Well, I'll take that chance. Come here, there's something I want you to see. (Hank takes down a box from the shelf and opens it up) Remember this?
BOBBY: My beanbag buddy? Oh, man, I can't believe I collected those things. They're so lame.
HANK: You didn't think so five years ago. And how about your virtual pet? You used to carry this thing everywhere. Then you got tired of it, forgot to feed it, and it died.
BOBBY (looks at a photo of himself in a Ninja Turtles costume): I look like such a dork.
HANK: I know how you feel. I never thought that "Members Only" jacket would go out of style, but it did. I know you think stuff you're doing now is cool, but in a few years you're going to think it's lame. And I don't want the Lord to end up in this box.
My favorite part of that episode is when the youth pastor's dad, who is just like the youth pastor, reminds him...and Bobby...that honoring your parents is just as much a part of living the Chrisitan life as is worshipping God, and that when the "coolness" gets in the way of an actual relationship with God then it has become idolatry. The fact that a biker is such a devoted Christian gets Hank to reconsider his position as well.
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