The lighter side of the coronavirus

[Gary K]

The CDC has created new behavior regulations to fight the coronavirus. They now say if everyone would stop breathing for two weeks the coronavirus would come to a rapid end.

ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised Americans to abstain from breathing for at least 2 weeks in an effort to quickly curb the spread of the novel coronavirus, which is transmitted via the respiratory route.

“I’m afraid that social distancing and travel bans are not enough,” said CDC Director Robert Redfield, adding that preliminary research on this virus indicates that the best way to not get it is to simply not inhale. “Every time you take in a new breath of air, you are unnecessarily putting yourself in danger because that air may be contaminated by coronavirus. It’s too risky—we simply can’t recommend breathing at this time.”

Redfield is cautiously optimistic that if everyone agrees to a 2-week moratorium on all respiratory activities, this global pandemic will come to a rapid end.

To read the rest of this article click on the following link: https://gomerblog.com/2020/04/in-effort-to-contain-coronavirus/ .

 

[Gary K]

We now have evidence that the coronavirus is traveling on an interplanetary scale.

In breaking news to Gomerblog, NASA has announced that Mars rover Curiosity has tested positive for coronavirus.

This is a shock to everyone since the World Health Organization had confidently announced just this past Friday that COVID-19 had been contained to planet Earth.

“Curiosity started exhibiting fevers, sore throat, cough, and shortness of breath a few days ago. We figured it was probably allergies but when we dug deeper we found that there was no evidence of dust storm activity in the region,” explained Curiosity project scientist Gilbert James. “It seemed like a long shot, especially since we launched it several years before its emergence, but coronavirus wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.”

The Mars rover was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL on November 26, 2011 and landed on Mars on August 6, 2012, with its primary mission to determine if Mars is suitable for life. Well, one thing is for sure: it’s suitable for COVID-19.

Since its discovery in Wuhan, China in December 2019, the pandemic coronavirus has rapidly spread throughout the world, effectively bringing Earth to a standstill.

To read the rest of this highly informational article click on the following link: https://gomerblog.com/2020/04/nasa-mars-rover-positive-coronavirus/ .

 

[Gary K]

There is now a lot of evidence that doctors in formerly unrelated fields of study are making a lot of mistakes in their diagnosis and treatment of coronavirus patients.

ATLANTA, GA – The novel coronavirus hasn’t even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is pitching in, including area OB-GYNs. Unfortunately, they’re doing it all wrong: they’re swabbing vaginas for COVID-19.

According to current guidelines, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends collecting and testing upper respiratory specimens i.e. nasopharyngeal swab.

“It’s hard to break habits I guess, I’m not used to being around the head and neck area,” said OB/GYN Dr. Ella Jarrett of Atlanta Medical Center, who swabbed 9 vaginas before she realized the error in her ways. “Once I got the swab, I was immediately performing pelvics and swabbing the cervix. The good news is the patient is negative for COVID-19. The bad news is she has a rip-roaring case of bacterial vaginosis.”

“I was curious why I was being put into stirrups,” said 34-year-old male patient Jeffrey Watts, who presented with fevers, sore throat, cough, shortness of breath, and myalgias. He denied any vaginal discharge. “No worries, I spoke up and ultimately they swabbed my throat and not anything… down there.” Watts tested positive for influenza A; COVID-19 was negative.

In other news, gastroenterologists have been reminded to stop swabbing patients’ rectums for COVID-19.

https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/ob-gyns-swabbing-vaginas-covid-19/

 

[jgarden]

 

[User Name]

“MAGA”: Karen Kolb Sehlke, a Trump-loving woman from Texas is dead from COVID-19 after claiming the virus was a “media driven” hoax. -- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/progr...joXz3QTbgr4rWC83JxK5-63P5Df8Qepm_AFNHhvjIGR0Q

She ranted against socialism, but now her family is on GoFundMe begging for money for her medical and funeral expenses. -- https://www.gofundme.com/f/khucq-help-the-sehlke-family

 

[Gary K]

LOL I see no one this site ever been around a bunch of nurses and doctors and listened to their sense of humor. Gomerblog.com is written by a doctor for the medical community and is self-described as humor for doctors, nurses, etc.... As usual you're unable to see reality even though I deliberately pointed out that this site was dedicated to the "lighter side" of the coronavirus problem. When a person loses their sense of humor about the bad things that happen in life they have lost all sense of proportion. They are entirely controlled by their fears.

Here is the description of gomerblog that appears just under the link for gomerblog on a duckduckgo.com search.

GomerBlog brings a much needed stress relief for Doctors, Nurses, and all Healthcare Professionals. Join us! Working in Medicine is stressful! GomerBlog brings a much needed stress relief for Doctors, Nurses, and all Healthcare Professionals. Join us! type in your search and press enter

 

[ok doser]

LOL I see no one this site ever been around a bunch of nurses and doctors and listened to their sense of humor. Gomerblog.com is written by a doctor for the medical community and is self-described as humor for doctors, nurses, etc.... As usual you're unable to see reality even though I deliberately pointed out that this site was dedicated to the "lighter side" of the coronavirus problem. When a person loses their sense of humor about the bad things that happen in life they have lost all sense of proportion. They are entirely controlled by their fears.

Here is the description of gomerblog that appears just under the link for gomerblog on a duckduckgo.com search.

i appreciated them - kept looking for the link the The Onion

as for jgarden, he's a Canadian national with an irrational obsessive hatred of another country's leader

chances are he could benefit from a course of electroconvulsive therapy

and i'd be glad to ask a couple of his fellow countrymen, the medical experts pictured, to help! :banana:

 

[Gary K]

BTW, here's another doctor's web page. Click on the link to read his additions to the gomerblog.

https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/post-author/gomerblog

I have to laugh at the inability of some posters to recognize satire written about the author of the satire and his colleagues. I mean, how uncaring and mean to satirize yourself and your profession. What a jerk. Right?

 

[Gary K]

i appreciated them - kept looking for the link the The Onion

as for jgarden, he's a Canadian national with an irrational obsessive hatred of another country's leader

chances are he could benefit from a course of electroconvulsive therapy

and i'd be glad to ask a couple of his fellow countrymen, the medical experts pictured, to help! :banana:

I laughed so hard at some of the satire I had tears running down my face. This doctor's imagination and humor are just incredible. Gastroenterolgists needing to be reminded to stop swabbing rectums. That just slays me. How someone could not appreciate that self-satire of the medical community is beyond me.

 

[ok doser]

and of course....


Trump Admits 18 New States To Increase Competition For Medical Supplies

Surgeon General: ‘This Week Will Be Like Another Pearl Harbor—And Not In A Good Way, Either’

Experts Warn Americans Could Still Be Dealing With Coronavirus As Late As Tomorrow Afternoon




:darwinsm:

 

[Gary K]

and of course....


Trump Admits 18 New States To Increase Competition For Medical Supplies

Surgeon General: ‘This Week Will Be Like Another Pearl Harbor—And Not In A Good Way, Either’

Experts Warn Americans Could Still Be Dealing With Coronavirus As Late As Tomorrow Afternoon




:darwinsm:

Yup. The incredible imagination and sense of humor used to create gomerblog is something I really find remarkable. I found it Saturday night and read for a couple of hours just laughing myself silly at it. It's pretty obvious that this doctor hasn't been consumed by his fears.

 

[Gary K]

ok doser You will find a bunch more of the same type of satire on this link. https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/post-author/gomerblog

 

[jgarden]

i appreciated them - kept looking for the link the The Onion

as for jgarden, he's a Canadian national with an irrational obsessive hatred of another country's leader

chances are he could benefit from a course of electroconvulsive therapy

and i'd be glad to ask a couple of his fellow countrymen, the medical experts pictured, to help!

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[ok doser]

ok doser You will find a bunch more of the same type of satire on this link. https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/post-author/gomerblog

thanks ff - great stuff!

 

[ok doser]

Homemade coronavirus masks! :darwinsm:

 

[ok doser]

 

[ok doser]

 

[Gary K]

I love these memes. Very funny. That lettuce leaf mask was excellent.

 

[Gary K]

ATLANTA, GA – Cautioning that its newest recommendation is not meant to alarm the American public or imply that we are losing the fight against COVID-19 by any means, the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) just simply thinks that we should move to Antarctica while we still have the chance. STAT.

“Look, oil prices are low, flights are cheap, I’m not saying that we should all panic, I’m just saying that Antarctica has no cases of coronavirus, so we should really just think about the possibility of moving there and maybe starting a new colony so humanity doesn’t become extinct,” explained CDC Director Robert R. Redfield while he readies his doomsday kit and ties a bandana over his nose and mouth. His knife is extra sharp and ready to go. “It would only be a one-way ticket too, since we never wanna come back to this country or any other country again.”

Since declaring the COVID-19 pandemic, the World Health Organization has reiterated that we need to remain calm, focus all our efforts on slowing the spread, and pack lots of layers and tell our loved ones

goodbye when we migrate to Antarctica in a last ditch effort at survival.

“The CDC wants everyone to take a couple of deep breaths,” said Redfield. “And after taking those said deep breaths, under the cover of night, meet me at the South Pole where hopefully our small cohort of survivors – hopefully one of us knows how to make fire – can procreate and repopulate the world and rebuild our civilization when this particular apocalypse is said and done. But again, don’t panic.”

https://gomerblog.com/2020/04/covid-19cdc-recommends-antarctica/

 

[Gary K]