The Ten Commandments 2.0
for Liberals, Re-publicans, and Legalists
The Ten Commandments 2.0 (for Liberals)
1. You shall have no other gods, besides yourselves, before Me.
2. You shall not engrave the Commandments 1.0 in public.
3. You shall not take the name of God in vain except when excited.
4. Remember the Sabbath day for celebratory drinks at noon.
5. Honor your mother and paternity-tested father.
6. You shall not murder unless your name is Roe, or any other name.
7. You shall not commit adultery except by consent.
8. You shall not steal from anyone in your tax bracket.
9. You shall not bear false witness against anyone except under oath.
10. You shall not covet without meeting the criteria laid forth in 6, 7, & 8.
The Ten Commandments 2.0 (for Re-publicans)
1. You shall have no other gods between campaigns.
2. You shall not imagine for yourself absolutes.
3. You shall not take His name in vain; God bless the USA!
4. Remember Election Day to keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and mother with nursing home subsidies.
6. You shall not murder except by exceptions.
7. You shall not prohibit adultery.
8. You shall not steal except by faith-based initiative.
9. You shall not bear false witness except to rate Re-publicans 100% pro-life.
10. You shall not covet principles over party.
The Ten Commandments 2.0 (for Legalists)
1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image.
3. You shall not take the name of thy God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.
5. Honor your father and mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness.
10. You shall not covet.
by Tony Funderburk & Bob Enyart
