Poly's POTD 12-29-10

[Poly]

Arranged marriages involving brief courtships are biblical. Dating is not.

The term "dating" or "to date" did not exist 150 years ago. It originated roughly a century ago as a slang term among prostitutes, and referred to the date and time of their meetings with regular clients. There is nothing biblical about dating.

Today, a guy takes a gal out and spends on money on her (dinner, movie, whatever) and then usually expects something in return. Most examples of dating today have changed little since 100 years ago.

I know a number of couples who are amazingly happy, in very strong marriages, whose courtships were arranged. Not forced, mind you, but they were set up, introduced, they had brief courtships (a few weeks) and were married. Frankly, you don't need much time to figure out if this is a good person to marry

Besides which, the foundation of a marriage is NOT emotional love, but rather a commitment from both the man and the woman. The man commits to agape love her, which is self-sacrificial love, and she commits to respect his authority and submit to him. That is the recipe for a healthy, happy and God-honoring marriage. Can you have a healthy and God-honoring marriage after dating? Yes, you can. In fact, my wife and I do. But just because some people muddle through it and get by despite doing it wrong... doesn't make it right. I wish I could go back and do things very differently. But we must strive to do the right thing from here forward, and we do, and we're blessed.

:first:

 

[ghost]

Great post! It's amazing how Hollywood has literally redefined relationships. I only know a handful of people who have a proper perspective about marriage these days. I have close friends whose daughter has been "dating" her boyfriend for 4 years, and he says he is waiting for God to tell him she is the "right one" How about the one you marry IS the right one?

 

[Lighthouse]

Great post! It's amazing how Hollywood has literally redefined relationships. I only know a handful of people who have a proper perspective about marriage these days. I have close friends whose daughter has been "dating" her boyfriend for 4 years, and he says he is waiting for God to tell him she is the "right one" How about the one you marry IS the right one?

Agreed.

I'm very thankful for TOL or I might still be waiting on God to tell me who "the one" for me is.