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MaryContrary said::madmad:
Okay, hold on. Mary's about to rant.
You know, I want to get all indignant at this but I really can't blame any guy for laughing at it. Laughter being a hysterical reaction, I can understand completely. The sad fact is that the first three of those attachments hold perfectly true for every immature female out there with no love for truth. The saddest part being how large a percentage of the female population that applies to, at least in this country. The fourth attachment...well, sheesh, no comment. Take it up with God. He designed us.
I've long since told my husband (who I've been married to less than a year) the he darned well better remarry should I die before he. I'm perfectly fine with that and honestly do hope he does. Because I love him and don't want him to be alone (unless, of course, he's happier that way. I don't think he would be.) Besides, I happen to think I've got a really great guy and I'll even feel pretty good for whomever comes along and wins him over. Good for her! And good luck, too, come to think of it. He's wasn't that easy to win over.
To the point: I won't allow for him sleeping with this hypothetical future wife in our bed. Mainly because I'd feel pretty bad for her, being married to such a humongous jerk as to allow such a thing. I certainly know I wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed my husband and his ex- shared. I, in fact, don't. Nor do I wear any of her old clothes or own anything of hers at all. Again, what kind of jerk would Matthew be to allow such a thing? Or I to knowingly do such a thing? That would be disrespectful to both she or I or he or some combination thereof.
Basically, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I would have "them" give me Matthew as my husband, so if I've gone on then by all means I hope someone else comes along. He's a great guy!
"What are you thinking?" If you ask a man this and you're surprised or disappointed by the honest answer then you either forget you were talking to a man or you really need to grow up. Quick!
"Do you love me?" If you're asking that, something's already wrong with your relationship. Fix that. I admit I sometimes ask my husband to say he loves me because sometimes I just love hearing it. I rarely actually doubt it and if I did, what the heck good would this question do? If I already doubted it I'd have to be ready to accept a lie from him in order to feel better and I don't like being that stupid.
"Do I look fat?" Probably. Do you really want a husband who'll lie to make you feel better? Again, grow up. That's what your girlfriends are for. Your husband should be the one you can count on to be honest with you even when (especially when) the truth ain't pretty. I've asked my husband something like this precisely twice and both times because I honestly wanted to know if I look fat wearing that.
"Do you think she is prettier than me?" What a stupid question. Yes, probably he does. Does that matter? No, probably not a whit. Depends on whether your relationship is solid. If it is, then the fact that "she" is prettier than you will mean exactly nothing to him anyway. He likely won't even have really noticed until you pointed it out, you moron. If it isn't...again, still doesn't matter if she's prettier because you have bigger fish to fry. Get to work! Does it really matter to you that Brad Pitt is "prettier" than your husband? He's much, much "prettier" than my husband and I'd still pick Matthew any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
[From my personal observations I don't think men ever really notice that they "check out" every woman they come within visual range of...any more than we do when we do it! If he doesn't even realize he's doing it, how likely is it that he's comparing some other woman to you...until you force him to? Do you really think he appreciates being forced to compare other women to you all the time? And if she is prettier than you? Wow, I bet he'll really be grateful you drew his attention to that! How exactly would that make you feel if the tables were turned? I'd get irritated with my husband pretty quick.]
"What would you do if I died?" Well, you can probably count on him burying you or at least going to the funeral. If you keep asking dumb questions like these he might be a little too happy at the funeral, though.
I hate dumb women nearly as much as I hate dumb men. :bang
:BRAVO: Context
Mary, that is brilliant!
My favorite part...
"Do I look fat?" Probably.
:rotfl:
