Originally posted by lnxgl
I am new to this list, and what a way to start out.
I am a Christian because I was raised in a satanic home, saw alot of unspeakable things and had them done to me also. I had no hope of ever knowing what love was like.
When I was 29 yrs old, I was going to take my life. I was fixing to get a divorce, lose everything because my husband found out that I cheated on him many times. Not to mention I tried to kill him. (honestly) I didn't want to live anymore. I had played around with God to many times, and I knew He would never forgive me for all I had done. You name it, I did it. Really! Let your imagination go. I can assure you, I have done it.
My 8 yr old son asked me to read Psalms 23 to him, his teacher taught it to him in public school. Anyway, I did, then went into the livingroom, put the pills up to my mouth, and saw satan standing on my left side urging me on.
All of a sudden, I remembered all the times I called out to God to change me, I wanted to be nice... so, I told Him that if He was really real, change me like I wanted to be changed..
Instantly, I dropped on my knees, repented of every shameful thing I had ever done, and He healed me.
I gave Him my broken life, He fixed it and gave it back to me.
I broke it again, but He keeps fixing it.
I try not to do the things that hurts Him, but I am human.. Though no where near the person I was.
He is my Father, my Dad, and I love Him for saving my life. Literally.
He also paid my way through seminary.. all the way through a doctorate degree.
Someone as bad as I was, He loved on me like that.
He taught me all about love and healed me.
I will be 9, April 30, 2004
