Originally posted by BChristianK
How to argue like a liberal.
Helpful tips.
1. Use any excuse to get a celebrity to champion your causes. Never mind the fact that most people wouldn’t take Springsteen’s advice on how to change a tire let alone who to vote for.
Sidebar: Has anyone heard from Springsteen lately? Maybe he decided to shut up and sing…
2. Do not delay to pull out the “No blood for oil” signs out of the closet that have been collecting dust since the late 60’s. When confronted with the reality that you were dead wrong, and now a country formerly occupied by a dictator is electing their own officials and has become a seat of democracy in an otherwise dictatorial region of the world, use any means possible to obfuscate the issue, if need be, start criticizing the process. Do everything possible to avoid acknowledging that democracy is a good thing.
Maintain carefully the following ten principles.
1. White = Over privileged racist
2. Christian = Evil
3. Male = oppressive
4. Military = A) gun loving trigger happy warmongers or B) stupid kids who have no other choice.
5. Choice = Good (and especially good when killing babies) BUT not worth the trouble when it means freeing a people from a totalitarian regime so they can choose their own elected officials.
6. Ethnic = qualified regardless of any other factor, (Important exception, if an ethic person happens to be conservative, they lose their qualified status and become wholly unqualified for no other reason that because they are conservative.)
7. Hollywood = Elite
8. Ivy League graduates = Elite (unless they are from Texas or conservative)
9. From Massachusetts, California, New York = Intelligent
a. Anywhere else = Stupid
10. Hate America = Good
If at any time these principles start to break down while engaging in intelligent discussion, use the following emergency procedures.
1. When you start losing an argument because your position has been shown to be totally illogical, whine that the other person is oppressing you by forcing their opinion on you.
2. Blame the president
3. Blame America
4. Blame the military
5. Blame white people
6. Blame men
7. Blame Christians
8. If all else fails, do anything and everything to avoid personal responsibility, remember it’s always someone else’s fault.
Careful hypocrisies to maintain as a liberal.
1. Claim to like freedom but posture vehemently against the possibility for anyone else to enjoy it.
2. Claim to love American while hating everything it stands for, its president and its defenders.
3. Shout down and call for the resignation for any university professor who might suggest women would like to stay home and raise their families but give tenure and defend to the hilt anyone who will claim that American had 9/11 coming.
Emergency procedures:
In case of an emergency, make up stuff, create a conspiracy that makes Bush look bad. Fabricate documents if necessary. Note: there is nothing too unethical to engage in if it means getting that Christian white boy from Texas out of the white house.
Final note: not everyone who is a liberal hates America but everyone who hates America is a liberal, why is that???
