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If anyone should have been on intimate terms with God and with His son Jesus Christ in the last century, surely it had to be Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu (a.k.a. Mother Teresa) but curiously, that wasn't the case. It turns out Teresa was a remarkable actor. Her public image bore no resemblance whatsoever to the secret life of her inner being. Below are some complaints she expressed in private letters to spiritual counselors recorded in:
Mother Teresa / Come Be My Light
The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta"
Edited with commentary by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
ISBN 978-0-385-52037-9
"I am told God loves me; and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
"The place of God in my soul is blank-- There is no God in me"
"I feel He does not want me, He is not there, God does not want me"
"When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. How painful is this unknown pain-- I have no faith."
Teresa also complained of feeling abandoned by Christ-- referring to him as "the absent one"
Teresa was never really convinced there's a God out there.
"The damned of Hell suffer eternal punishment because they experiment with the loss of God. In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I feel that God does not want me, that God is not God; and that He does not really exist."
At one point Teresa actually prayed thus:
"If there be God; please forgive me."
A prayer that begins with "If there be God" is the prayer of an agnostic; which Webster's defines as one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god. According to Jas 1:5-8, agnostic prayers are pings.
To her credit, Teresa wanted a God to be out there, but her utter failure to feel even the slightest glimmer of the Lord's presence prevented her from being sure about it.
_
If anyone should have been on intimate terms with God and with His son Jesus Christ in the last century, surely it had to be Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu (a.k.a. Mother Teresa) but curiously, that wasn't the case. It turns out Teresa was a remarkable actor. Her public image bore no resemblance whatsoever to the secret life of her inner being. Below are some complaints she expressed in private letters to spiritual counselors recorded in:
Mother Teresa / Come Be My Light
The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta"
Edited with commentary by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
ISBN 978-0-385-52037-9
"I am told God loves me; and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
"The place of God in my soul is blank-- There is no God in me"
"I feel He does not want me, He is not there, God does not want me"
"When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. How painful is this unknown pain-- I have no faith."
Teresa also complained of feeling abandoned by Christ-- referring to him as "the absent one"
Teresa was never really convinced there's a God out there.
"The damned of Hell suffer eternal punishment because they experiment with the loss of God. In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I feel that God does not want me, that God is not God; and that He does not really exist."
At one point Teresa actually prayed thus:
"If there be God; please forgive me."
A prayer that begins with "If there be God" is the prayer of an agnostic; which Webster's defines as one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god. According to Jas 1:5-8, agnostic prayers are pings.
To her credit, Teresa wanted a God to be out there, but her utter failure to feel even the slightest glimmer of the Lord's presence prevented her from being sure about it.
_