WonderfulLordJesus
New member
My whole life I'd thought liberals Godless. Well, alright then, sans Satan considered. But, reading on an economics website today, somebody posted a link to what is, obvious to even the most casual observer, a monumental, historic discovery of the liberal deity! This provoked further thought. Given Francis, maybe there's a Pope Sterculius in the stars? After all, it's Roman, congruity of doctrinal motifs...
Sorry, I digress. Without further adieu, let all card carrying Democrats, morally ambiguous "Christians" and sundry riffraff lift hands in welcome and praises to Lord Sterculius!
Also known as STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS
To put it politely, he is the God of Poop.
We have stated before that the Romans had gods for everything — and this one is the God of Dung.
His grand Latin name may bring to mind some succulent stir fry,[or Hillary's lips moving at a debate], but ‘stercus’ is simply the Roman word for fertilizer. To avoid confusion, the name used behind his back was ‘Poopy’.
Although the thought of a god specializing in crap seems a little bizarre to modern minds [outside the walls of the DNC headquarters], in fact he was extremely important to farmers who valued his blessed fertilizer above all things. In those days, everything was organically grown and good quality manure was essential. Far healthier than unholy chemicals and pesticides. [Lower carbon footprint and green, like Al Gore, George Soros, and bile, too.]
How did STERCULIUS become a God of Fertilizer [in liberal Democrat parlance, "fertilizer" or manure known as a "platform"]? It seems a strange career choice for an eager young deity. We have only one clue: a little bird told us he may be related to the [gay] fertility woodpecker PICUS.
We are full of respect for the Manure God. It’s a smelly job but someone has to do it. Please don’t let the smell put you off. [Simply wear a clothespin on your nose at the polling place. "A homo in every pot! What, me worry?"]
STERCULIUS FACTS AND FIGURES
Name : STERCULIUS
Pronunciation : Coming soon
Alternative names : STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS
Location : Italy and Roman Europe
Gender : Male
Type : deity
In charge of : Manure and Muck Spreading
God of : Manure, Fertilizer, Poop, Muck-Spreading, ****, Farming, Agriculture, Muck-Spreading
Celebration or Feast Day : Unknown at present
Good/Evil Rating : NEUTRAL, may not care [* citation, further research required, probable disambiguation Sterculius vs. Beelezebub vs. Comatosed American Voter]
Popularity index : 42393
Source: http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/roman-mythology.php?deity=STERCULIUS
Sterculesis 1:6, And he saw a pile of the unmentionable, that it is useful for fertilizer, and said, "It is good."
Sorry, I digress. Without further adieu, let all card carrying Democrats, morally ambiguous "Christians" and sundry riffraff lift hands in welcome and praises to Lord Sterculius!
STERCULIUS!
Roman Fertilizer GodAlso known as STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS
To put it politely, he is the God of Poop.
We have stated before that the Romans had gods for everything — and this one is the God of Dung.
His grand Latin name may bring to mind some succulent stir fry,[or Hillary's lips moving at a debate], but ‘stercus’ is simply the Roman word for fertilizer. To avoid confusion, the name used behind his back was ‘Poopy’.
Although the thought of a god specializing in crap seems a little bizarre to modern minds [outside the walls of the DNC headquarters], in fact he was extremely important to farmers who valued his blessed fertilizer above all things. In those days, everything was organically grown and good quality manure was essential. Far healthier than unholy chemicals and pesticides. [Lower carbon footprint and green, like Al Gore, George Soros, and bile, too.]
How did STERCULIUS become a God of Fertilizer [in liberal Democrat parlance, "fertilizer" or manure known as a "platform"]? It seems a strange career choice for an eager young deity. We have only one clue: a little bird told us he may be related to the [gay] fertility woodpecker PICUS.
We are full of respect for the Manure God. It’s a smelly job but someone has to do it. Please don’t let the smell put you off. [Simply wear a clothespin on your nose at the polling place. "A homo in every pot! What, me worry?"]
STERCULIUS FACTS AND FIGURES
Name : STERCULIUS
Pronunciation : Coming soon
Alternative names : STERQUILINUS, STERQUILINIUS, STURCULINUS, STERCUTUS
Location : Italy and Roman Europe
Gender : Male
Type : deity
In charge of : Manure and Muck Spreading
God of : Manure, Fertilizer, Poop, Muck-Spreading, ****, Farming, Agriculture, Muck-Spreading
Celebration or Feast Day : Unknown at present
Good/Evil Rating : NEUTRAL, may not care [* citation, further research required, probable disambiguation Sterculius vs. Beelezebub vs. Comatosed American Voter]
Popularity index : 42393
Source: http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/roman-mythology.php?deity=STERCULIUS
Sterculesis 1:6, And he saw a pile of the unmentionable, that it is useful for fertilizer, and said, "It is good."