Alas! I helplessly view the spiritual death of unrepentant siblings.
We all have fallen together warring against love-paradise like Adam and Eve. But I returned to Christ and followed Christ to eternal life. But they didn’t and followed the false glamour of this world. They didn’t realize that their success, position and glamour are nothing but chains for killing their souls.
I was most pained by that as being celibate for Christ I was more sentimentally attached to them. But Christ showed that I must suffer and atone as I had helped them to spoil themselves, before their fall.
My verbal warnings make them more stubborn. They take it as hate message though it is done in love. So I must try to show them my life of cross-bearing, even if annoyed they close their eyes. I must show them my long-distance walking when they go by cars, my 8 dollar food p.m. against their 80 dollars p.m. food, my wearing of thrown away repaired apparels against their expensive new garments, my cheap rented home against their own luxurious apartments, giving up my properties against their acquiring etc. Seeing me far healthier and productive in body and mind than them, they don’t realize the truth. Their previous love for me is now rapidly turning to contempt as beggar.
Besides outer struggles I have inner struggles too, especially against a weakening foe lurking inside me, my envy of their false worldly successes. Even after voluntarily given up those as fetters, I couldn’t totally eradicate the traces of hidden subconscious hunger for them. So my long cultured envy surfaces sometimes to show how far I am from Christ and spiritual heaven.
But when I look up on the jeered Christ, I am consoled. I know that if I stick to truth I shall survive and inspire some to repent for taking falsehood as success. Then, seeing my survival some will come to Christ and survive. As seeing Christ’s survival we are inspired to follow him. There is no other way to save others but showing my salvation, surpassing this mundane life. Everyone following Christ is sure to be scorned such by the suicidal world. But their unheeding suicidal dash must pain us, not their scorn.
We all have fallen together warring against love-paradise like Adam and Eve. But I returned to Christ and followed Christ to eternal life. But they didn’t and followed the false glamour of this world. They didn’t realize that their success, position and glamour are nothing but chains for killing their souls.
I was most pained by that as being celibate for Christ I was more sentimentally attached to them. But Christ showed that I must suffer and atone as I had helped them to spoil themselves, before their fall.
My verbal warnings make them more stubborn. They take it as hate message though it is done in love. So I must try to show them my life of cross-bearing, even if annoyed they close their eyes. I must show them my long-distance walking when they go by cars, my 8 dollar food p.m. against their 80 dollars p.m. food, my wearing of thrown away repaired apparels against their expensive new garments, my cheap rented home against their own luxurious apartments, giving up my properties against their acquiring etc. Seeing me far healthier and productive in body and mind than them, they don’t realize the truth. Their previous love for me is now rapidly turning to contempt as beggar.
Besides outer struggles I have inner struggles too, especially against a weakening foe lurking inside me, my envy of their false worldly successes. Even after voluntarily given up those as fetters, I couldn’t totally eradicate the traces of hidden subconscious hunger for them. So my long cultured envy surfaces sometimes to show how far I am from Christ and spiritual heaven.
But when I look up on the jeered Christ, I am consoled. I know that if I stick to truth I shall survive and inspire some to repent for taking falsehood as success. Then, seeing my survival some will come to Christ and survive. As seeing Christ’s survival we are inspired to follow him. There is no other way to save others but showing my salvation, surpassing this mundane life. Everyone following Christ is sure to be scorned such by the suicidal world. But their unheeding suicidal dash must pain us, not their scorn.